All smiles

It’s amazing how life throws surprises when we least expect them. Something similar happened today. Little surprises…. but like someone’s status message once read- those little things, little surprises…they are NOT little. 

Thanks vinay for that sweet testimonial you wrote for me. 

Yes we’ve been friends for less than a month now and I was really wondering what you had to say about me besides that usual lie – greatest poetess of bloggerville ;). Lolz and how sweet…you did come up with something really different- you called me a devil :). Btw, of all that was written in the testimonial…my favorite lines are:

“May our friendship last, till Feb has 31 days!”

Tell me; is there a better poet than you? ;)

 You made me smile and I am sooo thankful to you for this sweet little gesture. *Hugs*

That's for you. (Awards are all I have right now, you know I suck at photoshop :( )

Yet another surprise was from my best friend Harika who always spams my mailbox with some unusual forwards. Of course they find their way into the bin without being read. 

Strange enough, today the subject line of her email read- Read it, do not delete it…not a forward.

(Lolz who can understand me better? I hope you got the hidden message – I do not read forwards… hence don’t bother. :P :P (Specially to Indu and Preeti) :D :D)

And then I find words that bring tears. 

Harika was my first acquaintance in college and vice-versa and indefinitely she would remain the best. I remember she was sitting all alone in the last bench and I went back to accompany her. Since then we have been together… sharing the same bench for 4 years. Not to forget those bus journeys…the longer, the best! With her it’s like sharing the same soul…coz there’s nothing she doesn’t know about me. Absolutely nothing. 

Oh btw she says I taught her the importance of friends and relationships. *Blushing*. 

Like it wasn’t enough to make my day, Lena asks a silly question: 
 
What do you think how come we have become good friends?

How come? I donno, I wonder the same sometimes. Feels great for being such good friend of yours Janu. 

lena: i went to facebook today and sent you lots of love and you never show up there :P
  but i still send everything to you :P
 
me: hahahahahahha
  rofl
  am one big fool :D
  I even forgot the password for facebook
  Lol

Damn sweet! Someone sends me love even when am not around ;). I couldn’t have asked for more! 

Hey wait, I also got an unexpected call today. Just another reason to be happy :)

So much for me…I just felt like making someone feel special too. And so I dropped by my friend’s Srikanth’s house…not for him but for his grandfather who reminds me of mine. Silly me, I took along a Cadbury Diarymilk for him instead of some fresh fruits :P :P. *Budget speaks*

To end with, I would like to say- If you love it…show it…before it’s too late.

Indifference

Hate me for a million reasons
But I cannot endure indifference 
The lack of your concern… 
...It hurts more than any pain

:O

Some people are losers…not because of destiny…. but because they chose to be.

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Sweet memories :)

I am Binjaawwl

Goodmawning

I yam Binjaawwl

Violet in Kalaaar

P.S – Sorry for not replying to the comments :(

One lazy dumbi :P

lena: what had happened yesterday dear?

why you didnt sleep?


divya: nothing... just cudnt sleep...coz i was thinking all night about the java class that i had today :P
:D
LOL


lena: dumbi
i am sorry i was not there, logged off frm gtalk yesterday


divya: grr its ok... i dint sleep even for a minute :P finally got out of the bed at 7..and got ready :D


lena: i went to sleep at 2
at least i slept for some time
how was the class?


divya: LOL i slept in the class. ... and ur sms woke me up :x


lena: hahaha so my sms did a good job :P


divya: i read ur sms and slept again :)


lena: why you went to class then?


divya: to sleep :P


lena: dumbi
lazy one


divya: :D

Just another sleepless night

Some anxious thoughts
And arcane questions
Preoccupy my somber mind
And drive me insane
Many of them I clout
Many keep me thinking
These fearful sleepless nights
Hunting for convincing answers
With an urge to anticipate the future
And a power to change the dire

I need some sleep tonight :(

A question

How would you feel when in the middle of a serious on-the-phone discussions ….your friend keeps yawning :P ? Just put the phone down? :O 

A Nonnet and two 55-fictions ;)

Friendship- A Nonnet

Hearts connected by a hidden twine
To be great friends they were destined
Neither distance nor the spars
Could keep the two away
Over a jiffy
Moments of bliss
Shared in glee
And love
Prized

NONNET: A nonnet has nine lines. The first line has 9 syllables, the second line 8 syllables, the third line 7 syllables, etc... Until line nine finishes with 1 syllable. It can be on any subject and rhyming is optional.

I dedicate my first nonnet to Lena, Sami and Preeti – my best friends here.


DAYS WITHOUT HER- 55 fiction

“You really have to go?”
“Yes, you know he is ill and my sister needs me ”
“Come back soon, will miss you”
“Will try to. Take care of yourself and the house”

Her HOME seemed to be only a HOUSE since the time she left. Three days without her. Life had never been so boring.

What is 55 Fiction? It is a fiction story, with all the basic elements of a narrative (plot, characters, setting, conflict), in 55 words or less (A non-negotiable rule).

And my first 55 fiction to my Grandmother who has been away for sometime now.

And here’s one more. MARRIAGE- 55 fiction

“Bloody hell! Why are you ignoring my calls and messages? Put it straight you coward.”
“It is all over between us, we can only be good friends now”
“Friends? After all that we have had that night, you call me a good friend? ”
“I never promised love or marriage.”

Hehe, enough of creativity for today :P. First attempt is satisfactory i hope?

LIFE

Life is worth a trillion things
Otherwise you wouldn’t be living it

Do not hate it for a lost love
Love it for the ones you still have

Do not blow up in vigor or anger
Brace yourself till you snuggle down

Do not give up in difficulties
After a few trials it will be easy

Do not fret over the tears
Rather cherish the few smiles

Do not fear in obscurities
There still will be light coming from within

Do not crush it for the less significant
Build it for the better ones

Do not waste it on yesterday’s sorrows
Live it with today’s hopes

Life is worth living for everything it has to give
If not for yourself, live it for those around

Life is not easy…but it still is worth living! There were times when I felt like giving up for my own good. Something still kept me alive.

P.S- Love, trust, respect…all good things come with a *caution* tag. You ought to think before you give them to somebody, or you end up being hurt badly.

This moment you are happy about something…and the next moment you are destined to be sad! Terrible.

^%$(&(*&(*&%$

Lemme know if you have any answers!

What do you fear the most? 

Of losing my loved ones.

90% of us would answer that question likewise. 

Last night we received a call from the village about a close relative going through the last stages of his life.  such a news is terrifying. I imagine people howling in misery, I imagine how the lady would be treated after her husband’s death, if people would still respect and take care of her the same way as her husband did or she would be left devoid of those privileges that she enjoyed before, most of all if she would be able and willing to survive without him.

They also take me back to the days when I had to cope with someone’s death.

But believe me the biggest loss is of the spouse’s.

Death is certainly the most painful thing about life. When I was a child, I remember crying for a short time every night about my grandparents growing old or rather- nearing death. Now I fear losing everybody for nothing in this world seems to be certain. Isn’t it unfair to be given an entire life to love people and then also cope with losing them?

Sometimes I wonder where these people would be going after their death…if there is really a heaven and a hell, if they are still watching everything we do and everything we say, if we would meet them all again when finally death takes over us. 

P.S -> check if you have any awards in the post below 

Returns

Thanks a ton for all those comments here. Guess what? Only 15 people commented still the count raised to over 50 :P Special thanks to Ankur, Vinay and Janu!

Now the problem with my processor was roughly what S has guessed- the power supply inside the processor just reached the retirement age :P and so had to replace it with a new one :(. One great IBM officer said that the problem could be because of some virus in the system. I can’t believe he still works for IBM :P

Coming back to the returns… as promised here are some awards for those who took pains in making me smile!

You cheer me up award à to Lena, Ankur, Vinay, Anwesa, Arv, Preeti, Arpi di, Hemu (for the impending post on his blog :D) Divinedu, Deluded (for fighting on my shout box which made me laugh :P) and S.

The next 3 awards are for everyone who has commented on that post :) – Lena, Ankur, Vinz, Aneesh (I still appreciate your effort :P), Anwesa, Arv, Vinay, PJ, Preeti, Indu, Arpid di, S, Sneha di and Hemu :)

If you already have these awards...let me know, will try and replace them with some others :P (Lena and Preeti - i dont have anything new to give you :P Just more of love :P)

Thanks again guys :)

Indirect offence - not meant :P :P

D: I’ll never fight with your sister, I like her ;)

R: oho :))

D: yaa, the first I spoke to her, she sounded sooo sweet :P

R: Hmm

D: I even love your dad, I remember the first few words we exchanged…I asked for you and he replied- R bahar gaya hai beta…aap kaun baat kar rahe ho? BETA….hez soo loving :)

R: Oh ya so what you indirectly want to say is that…you don’t like my mamma!

D: LOL haha na na :P

R: Samajh gaya

D: oyee no I dint meant that :P i just fear her, she almost shouted in the first conversation we had :D i asked for you and she was like- R? Why do you want R? Who are you? And I hung up in panic :P

P.S- Guys, these are things that would make me smile...years later! Apparently maintaining two or three blogs is almost impossible for someone like me. :P If i disable comments it means its a personal thing that will not accept any kind of criticism. It is ok to laugh at some things but i really cant take if someone laughs at things that are not meant for fun! At least i don't want to know if you laughed or smiled or cried or felt bad for me! These are things that create memories.

P.P.S- Of course i am happy after all the LOL's and ROFL's in the earlier post, but just to keep it going...do comment on the post below :)

Cheer us up

Rahul is sad and so am I. For completely different reasons though ;).

So you got the message :P. Cheer us up and we promise to give back the smiles further with gratitude ;)

There’s something on the cards for all those who can make us smile, laugh and go ROFL :D :D

No restrictions… do anything you want as long as it doesn’t hurt any of us here ;)

P.S- My system has fallen sick… gets shutdown by itself every few minutes. And the processor refuses to start again :(. I guess it is all because of a great IBM officer :P :P (Kidding :P)
Lemme see if someone can get into the technicalities and figure out the problem with my processor :P

Reflections

Anger is momentary
That thing which will remain forever
Is what we call LOVE

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I wish i could give unconditional love
That people talk about
And be called a good person
before i leave this earth

'A Good person' thats exactly what i wanna be.
But without a purpose it is all outlying
Things dont happen out of the blue
We need to focus to make them true

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I suck at programming, I suck at computers. Am clueless about my aim in life, but i know for sure this is not what i want to be!

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It's annoying to stay home 24 hours a day and do just nothing :(. Even more annoying it is when you know you have a million things to do but still take indefinite pleasure in lazing around :O

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Conclusion: I SO HATE MYSELF AT THIS MOMENT :(


P.S - Comments on the post below are welcome :)

Inner beauty

Within those unsightly eyes

That flinched many a soul

Are oodles of innocence

They failed to behold

Behind those filthy clothes

People cringed to touch

Is a tender heart

Far off their reach

Beneath the shaggy hair

That beckoned disgust and crude

Is a powerful mind

Waiting for a tribute

And beyond the ugly face

That infused dread

Is a beautiful soul

'Inner beauty' it read

P.S – Thanks to preeti for the second line of the third stanza :D :D

To be or Not to be

Her: hello?

Him: Haa sweety, what u doin?

Her: Was chatting before your call.

Him: With?

Her: The same ones that I chatted yesterday with ;)

Him: Those chats make your nights exciting, don’t they?

Her: Naa, just feels good with people around. I hardly chat with guys for you to call my nights happening or exciting!

Him: So you want a guy to chat with?

Her: Naa, I could get one if I want ;). I thought you know who I want to chat with!

Him: I know

*Silence*

Him: Say something?

Her: Hmmm how was your day?

Him: Are you angry?

Her: Why dint u call last night?

Him: Last night? *Thinks* Was late from office!

Her: In all those 24 hours, you say you couldn’t find a minute to call and let me know that you would be late from office or at least leave a message that you can not call?

*Silence*

Her: You know you can’t give this lame excuse all the time->work. Relationships should be balanced. It seems I am the only one putting efforts to keep this relation going while you are not bothered.

Him: Am sorry Jaan.

Her: This isn’t the first time I am saying this. When I have balance I call, but when I don’t… You know I would be worried…

Him: Janu, I know its my fault, please don’t be angry with me. 15 hours in office, I don’t get a minute to think about anything else! May be I’m taking you for granted; coz I know you will always be there!

Tears moistened her eyes and she was left speechless. *

Maybe I’m taking you for granted…coz I know you’ll be there…always*.

To be happy-> for how secure he feels with her or not to be-> for being taken for granted- she does not know.

Musings and celebrations

If you love somebody let him free. If he comes back to you he is yours…if he doesn't he never was.

This quote comes as a hitch hacker for people in love. If he truly loves you…he would surely come back! But how many of us are ready to let our love free? No, I am not talking of giving them that space they had always needed. It’s about the temporary detachment from your love when insecurity creeps in… to check if he would come back or not. Let alone the aftereffects, maybe they would come back and maybe you are too sure about it… still you can’t take that step of letting them free. Coz we are always afraid of losing people!

I also have a question to ask:

Is it ok if we were a bit possessive, selfish, afraid (of losing ’em) , angry and insecure in love sometimes...in other words...is it ok to have some negative emotions…besides the other obvious things that you feel in love? Or do you think love can be called love only when it is unconditional?

Now for the last part…it is my sweet baby cousin Dhriti’s Third Birthday tomorrow and I’m super excited about the chocolates, cake and the splendid dinner that is to follow.

Here’s a pic with Dhriti and myself together, one of my all time favorites! The tricycle is hers and that explains the look on her face :P

Trilogy

Potted memories you bring

Some sweet others horrifying

Even so you are held close

For all the lessons you've taught us

A bundle of hopes and dreams

But also unpredictable tragedies

Adding a purpose to our lives

You motivate us beyond rife

But it's the present that makes memories

Letting us live through hopes and dreams

Safe and fearless it makes us feel

The best of tenses and a present indeed

Change

We are often made victims of CHANGE- Change in people, change in relationships, change in feelings. But what hurts the most is when this change takes its toll on relationships- when people don't seem to be the same anymore; feelings fade off and the relationship seems devoid of the spark that it initially boasted of.

And those feeling ripped off are the ones who don't change, whose feelings remain intact irrespective of time and who struggle to keep the relationship alive despite these changes disturbing the situations from time to time.

The initial days of dealing with change are indeed difficult coz fear of insecurity and feelings of being taken for granted surface. These are the testing days- the times that will send the strongest of the storms to shrivel the trust, to shatter your dreams and all in all to weaken the relationship.

How does one cope with these changes?

With time however things seem to get better if you build up your abilities to understand people and tune yourself to the changing conditions.

It hurts you less if you are capable of molding yourself according to changing people and situations, if you are able to figure out the actual reasons behind these changes. People change not because they want to but because they have to…because the situation or circumstances demands so. And the sooner you realize this, the better.

P.S- Happy birthday Ali ;). My best wishes coming your way, have a great time ;)

P.P.S- I still don't have Internet facility. Thanks to Sami and Lena for being so helpful in posting my posts :P