Life after a year

It’s been almost a year since I last wrote something here. Thought I’ll come back on 26th December, the same day (of last year) when I concluded that all online relations are fake and I don’t want to make any more.

But then, today being Granpa’s third death anniversary, want to tell him that even though it’s been three years since he left us, I still see him in my dreams… every night.

Isn’t it amazing how some people leave a lasting impression on our hearts?

Life's changed completely. Am happier today than I was in the past 5 years. Sometimes I can’t believe it and over the fear of losing my emotions…I even try to go back to the past. I try to cry but tears refuse to come out of these dry eyes.

And sometimes… sometimes it becomes so difficult, I feel like running away from home…to a place where I can be myself, where I can cry without the feeling that someone might be watching and hating every tear in my eye that falls out for a wrong reason/ wrong person. Yes, some people are perfect examples for MISTAKES OF GOD :D

And at other times I’m laughing. Laughing so much that I fear I’m faking it. ( joined that community on orkut- I SAY LOL WHEN I’m NOT LAUGHING :D :D was overwhelmed to see 1270 more members, besides myself :D)

Outwardly, I’ve changed a lot and yet there are some things I could not change about myself. I still can’t make out which of those people are real and which of them are not. People come, fool me and go. The worst thing is that I know they are fooling me and I still like to believe they are not. :D I trust them while always having this fear that they can break it anytime. So actually I don’t. And I still get those compliments- I’m too emotional :D (Just last week I read somewhere DON’T LET ANY MAN TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE TOO EMOTIONAL, will people stop giving me that age-old compliment and say something else, please?).

Then, there are people whom I would like to thank whole heartedly for being with me through all of it and helping me sail through. I have this immense respect for all of them and I promise to stand by, through life’s ups and downs. Sounds like a pledge I know :D

And a special mention: In this one year no matter who came and left, my boyfriend did not leave me even for a single day and I can bet my life that he never will. Yes, am shamelessly in love again- my boyfriend as I announce to the world is- AMUL’S CHOCOLATE CONE. :D

And lastly for all those who are in love… I would like to quote something that I truly started believing in (or maybe I like to believe that I started believing something that I always fail to believe in)- “JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING THEY SAY AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY DO”

I remember there were people who wanted me to change my blog url – unlukky is definitely not me. Am also planning to change the template.

I’ve learned to live ;)