Learning to live....

Have u seen my childhood

2011-09-24T11:02:00.001+05:30

My innocence died with him. I don’t know if that’s something I should be happy about. Sometimes I feel grateful...coz nobody can now make a fool out of me. I can read people like books. I know their every intention. And I am extremely careful not to let them play with my emotions or take advantage of me. And when I see them taking advantage of someone, I try my best to protect them. People here are amazing. Sometimes I feel it’s not a Bschool but a Dschool (Drama School :D ) with so many drama queens, drama kings and attention seekers, having an amazing talent.

But there are also some innocent ones, who are being exploited to the level that leaves nothing in them, who do not see anything beyond the superficial. Can’t blame them. They just don’t realize. Who their true friends are! I feel I should give up and let them realize on their own. After all, I did not believe when I was warned. Maybe that’s the most wonderful thing about relationships. They don’t come with a Danger sign. Your heart just chooses one and tells you – THAT should be your best friend or boyfriend or girlfriend. Then there could be circumstances that would make curse your heart for making the wrong choice.

Today I am missing my innocence. The way I used to trust people with no strings attached. Not thinking and analysing every word that comes out of their mouth. Just loving, loving and loving :(

P.S: In the whole post, I might be talking about one person. :P

Life after a year

2009-12-11T14:08:00.005+05:30

It’s been almost a year since I last wrote something here. Thought I’ll come back on 26th December, the same day (of last year) when I concluded that all online relations are fake and I don’t want to make any more.

But then, today being Granpa’s third death anniversary, want to tell him that even though it’s been three years since he left us, I still see him in my dreams… every night.

Isn’t it amazing how some people leave a lasting impression on our hearts?

Life's changed completely. Am happier today than I was in the past 5 years. Sometimes I can’t believe it and over the fear of losing my emotions…I even try to go back to the past. I try to cry but tears refuse to come out of these dry eyes.

And sometimes… sometimes it becomes so difficult, I feel like running away from home…to a place where I can be myself, where I can cry without the feeling that someone might be watching and hating every tear in my eye that falls out for a wrong reason/ wrong person. Yes, some people are perfect examples for MISTAKES OF GOD :D

And at other times I’m laughing. Laughing so much that I fear I’m faking it. ( joined that community on orkut- I SAY LOL WHEN I’m NOT LAUGHING :D :D was overwhelmed to see 1270 more members, besides myself :D)

Outwardly, I’ve changed a lot and yet there are some things I could not change about myself. I still can’t make out which of those people are real and which of them are not. People come, fool me and go. The worst thing is that I know they are fooling me and I still like to believe they are not. :D I trust them while always having this fear that they can break it anytime. So actually I don’t. And I still get those compliments- I’m too emotional :D (Just last week I read somewhere DON’T LET ANY MAN TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE TOO EMOTIONAL, will people stop giving me that age-old compliment and say something else, please?).

Then, there are people whom I would like to thank whole heartedly for being with me through all of it and helping me sail through. I have this immense respect for all of them and I promise to stand by, through life’s ups and downs. Sounds like a pledge I know :D

And a special mention: In this one year no matter who came and left, my boyfriend did not leave me even for a single day and I can bet my life that he never will. Yes, am shamelessly in love again- my boyfriend as I announce to the world is- AMUL’S CHOCOLATE CONE. :D

And lastly for all those who are in love… I would like to quote something that I truly started believing in (or maybe I like to believe that I started believing something that I always fail to believe in)- “JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING THEY SAY AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY DO”

I remember there were people who wanted me to change my blog url – unlukky is definitely not me. Am also planning to change the template.

I’ve learned to live ;)

2009-01-14T11:09:00.002+05:30

She opened her eyes to a new morning, a morning which could change her world. Her favorite pink teddy bear was missing. She lived in a room stuffed with toys and every toy tried its best to see her smile. She was such a sweet heart! Of all the toys, she loved that pink teddy – let’s call him Keith. She held his hand all through the day and hugged him when ever she felt low. Keith had seen her in smiles and in tears. Keith knew, like other toys did, that she looked gorgeous with her smile on. Yet he decided to gift her tears!

She missed Keith. She missed herself. For a moment she forgot that there were other toys in her room. She was desperately searching for Keith. She was crying!

The doggie barked to get her attention. She chose to ignore. The monkey did tricks to see her smile. She threw him to a corner. The joker clapped till his hands were in pain. She unwounded him and threw him under her cot. The train whistled and moved around her. Her feet crushed the engine to death!

Some toys were scared by her act. Some were hurt and some cursed her change. They left the room leaving her behind, crying while she searched for Keith. Some chose to stay and bring her back, and she chose to shut herself inside the virtual walls around her! She was furious, screaming out the pain. She wished Keith was there to hold her hands. She believed him to be the only one who could feel her pain. The monkey wondered so did the others! “He gifted her tears and left her in pain. Yet she says only he would understand.” They felt dejected, yet they stayed.

They knew she would sleep again. They knew she would need them all when she wakes up - either to make her smile or to cry out her pain. And yes, she did. Days passed and she opened her eyes to another morning. She saw broken pieces of plastic shattered through out the room, fur flying high, her wounded friends in the darkness of the room. She ran to them and cried her heart out. If only those tears could heal them!

The doggie barked again, but his voice choked. The monkey tried tricks with his broken hands. The joker clapped but she saw him limping. The train whistled but failed to reach her. She had them all back – wounded and hurt. The only thought that remained was this: Were the losses worth it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pink teddy was her favorite toy. She played with him all day, all night. She was so used to him being around that her loss completely shattered her. She couldn’t believe keith had left her. If Keith could do that…any toy could do the same. She wasn’t willing to let the other toys hurt her more. Coz if the toy she trusted, loved and treasured the most could leave her to suffer this pain… one day she thought… all other toys would leave her too. And in a fit of rage and thoughtlessness she decided to abandon all of her toys… leaving their world….before they left hers.

The doggie barked to get her attention. She chose to ignore. The monkey did tricks to see her smile. She threw him to a corner. The joker clapped till his hands were in pain. She unwounded him and threw him under her cot. The train whistled and moved around her. Her feet crushed the engine to death!

But one day she came back and apologized for her stupid acts. And the toys…they forgave her… after all she is a sweeeeeeeetheart :D

What happened to keith? He is still there in her heart. He will be there… always. Coz HER love isn’t something that disappears just like that. And yes… she hoped…that one day Keith would come back to her… with much more love and happiness for her.

To the question- are the losses worth it? They say never regret something that made you happy. Keith meant the world to her at one point of time.he was the reason she smiled. Hugging him made her feel like the world was hers. So she chose to love him……. never—the--less.

p.s - thanks anu, for the story... i hope what i added to it..made some sense :D

Much love,

div

Thanks vinay

2009-01-05T18:35:00.004+05:30

there is, no one like you.
a little light in my life dark.
for all the times we fought,
are memories i cherish a lot,
our friendship now a fire,
that was once just a spark.

there is, no one like you.
a heart, always there for me.
for all the times, we made us smile,
with silly jokes, just for a while,
a sweetheart you are dear,
now and always you shall be.

you were there for me,
when no one else did care.
your voice i can hear,
in my heart it is always there.

there is, no one like you,
a little friend, that god did send,
an angel, that i did find.
a face i see, as my sis dearest,
whose thoughts i value always,
and that i keep in mind.

i wish i could say,
a lot more than this,
i know how you feel,
there is something amiss.
you are strong, i know that,
come back to who you are,
as that smiling darling,
who makes me laugh from afar.

take your time, but be back,
your presence i now lack,
for you mean a lot to me sis,
i speak from my heart this,
come back soon, my best friend,
and your thoughts, once again lend.
if i can make you smile through my words,
then i feel, no distance can keep us apart.

friends always forever...!! :) till february has 31 days...

lots of luv, and hugs, from me to you.
your anian...! :)

To div, from lena

2009-01-01T19:03:00.003+05:30

i know whatever i would say wont help much, sweetheart and i wont tell you you shoud move on because it is really crap... you will move when time comes... not in a week or in a month.. such things dont just heal so soon.. take your own time, dont listen to anyone.. you want to cry, cry... thats essential, to cry your pain out, to get rid of all sadness... will take so much time to fill in this emptiness... just remember that no matter what you are stronger than you think, braver than you believe.. and you deserve hapiness more than anyone else...
you will be happy, that i know.. because you are one beautiful soul.. and because you are my little sister and i believe in you!!
you are one hell of a fighter and you will be there on the top of the world.. sooner than you expect.
I know you are sad, i know you cant really talk to anyone, cant take anything from anyone, cant accept what everyone is saying.... but just remember that we are always there for you, any time.. if you need someone to cry with, i am here for you... if you need someone to sit in silence, i am there for you... no matter when or what, trust me i love you soo much and whenever you are in pain, i am in pain too... but i just want you to listen to yourself and on one fine day to be back to your usual self, maybe a bit stronger than you were before, maybe a bit happier than before... and sure a bit more braver.. you wont give up on yourself, on your life, on your future... on people who love you and care about you... those who mail me every day asking how you are and if they can be of any help...
i know its tough to believe now. but you will be blessed with lots of success and happiness... and we all will be there to witness it and to feel proud of you getting through it..

i believe the new year will be the year of changes for you... good ones, happy ones, lovely ones... :)
love you very much dear!
take very good care of yourself!
and you know what?

you are the best!! :)

Blessed and then cursed: A REPOST

2008-12-31T11:40:00.000+05:30

Few people are blessed
With feelings so pure
But sometimes I think
It's not a good thing for sure
To love someone with the fullness of your heart
And give them the rights to hurt your soul
To let them break your trust and belief
And still make them feel you can't live on your own
Keep them close to your heart and spirit
But let them not be your everything
For some day they will be gone
And you will be left all alone
Wondering if giving someone the highest status
Is the worst thing you have ever done!

Dosti

2008-12-27T00:00:00.000+05:30

The only song that comes into my mind when I think of friends and FRIENDSHIP. Of late this song has become even more close to my heart… coz before leaving to America Box sang this song and sent it to my cellphone as a voice sms! The song is from the movie Rockford...

Lyrics goes such:

Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raajdaan
Be garaj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raajdaan

Yaaron mohabbat hi to bandgi hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Jisko tujhse ho pyaar
Koi to dilbar ho yaar

Teri har ek buraai pe
daante vo dost
Gam ki ho dhoop to
saaya bane tera vo dost
Naache bhi vo
Teri khushi main

Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raajdaan
Be garaj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raajdaan

Tan mann kar tum pe fida
Mahboob vo
Palkon pe jo rakhe tujhe
Mahboob vo
Jiski vafa tere liye ho

Are Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Jisko tujhse ho pyaar
Koi to dilbar ho yaar

Translation for those who are little versed with Hindi!! :)

Friends, frendship, is a very beautiful thing
If its not there, then tell me, what is life?
There must be someone trustworthy, he/she should be your friend without any need
There must be someone trustworthy

Friends, love is a devotion
If its not there, then tell me, what is life?
There must be one sweetheart, who loves you,
There must be one sweetheart

For your every mistake, your friend must scold you,
When there are pangs of sorrow, your friend must become your shadow
Your friend must also dance with you, in your happiness...

Friends, frendship, is a very beautiful thing
If its not there, then tell me, what is life?
There must be someone trustworthy, he/she should be your friend without any need
There must be someone trustworthy

Someone who will devote his/her entire body and heart to you. A lover like this should be there in your life
He/she (lover) must keep you on his eyelashes (shouldn't keep you away from his/her eyesight)
whose faithfulness should be only for you

Friends, love is a devotion
If its not there, then tell me, what is life?
There must be one sweetheart, who loves you,
There must be one sweetheart

Posted on behalf of LukkyDivz by Leo ... have a nice weekend... Enjoy the song! :)

A farewell

2008-12-23T20:28:00.008+05:30

I love airports. I haven’t been there many times and the very few times that took me there…always had me in tears. I love them nevertheless.

Yesterday or more precisely in the early hours of this morning three of my friends left for the USA. This post is about my whole experience of watching them leave.

At around 4PM in the noon yesterday, I went to Box’s house so I can bid them farewell, as they were getting ready for their new ventures. The moment I entered, she gave me a packet full of some American chocolates (that I finished in two hours or so). We chatted for sometime, listened to some English music and laughed about not understanding a single word of the lyrics yet trying to sing them aloud as if the world was ours… Box was showing off her posh hair cut that she had got done at some parlor for 650 rupees :P. Was finding it so cute to see her looking into the mirror at least three hundred times yesterday :D

A little later she started showing some of the things that she was taking to the US. And among them were the two letters I wrote to her… one was in third year of engineering while exams were going on when she jokingly asked me for a Snickers chocolate and I couldn’t stop myself from buying one for her. I also wrote a letter and dropped it along with the chocolate into her bag as a surprise. Stupid Box dint notice the gift until I messaged her on my own to check her bag.

Needless to say, she was damn happy! She messaged me back saying that she is feeling really great for the fact that I wrote a letter for her despite having an exam the next day.

Another letter… or I rather say CARD I made for her on her birthday. The card was so full of smiles, my love added with a bountiful of insecurity. I told her not to forget me when she went abroad to which she always replied- how will I?

Reading my own letters made me cry. Just made me realize how difficult it is to not to have them around for a span of two years. I cried…thinking of future, if there is anyone at all left to take care of me like they did for all these years. I would miss their cheerful faces, I would miss chatting with them, I would miss their voices, the fun…. I would miss out on everything.

I got back to normal in a few minutes. We laughed again, we had dinner, we continued chatting and Box... she was still talking to us… while adjusting her hair of course :D.

11PM- the time for us to start for the airport. She held her luggage; she wore her new branded shoes, was smiling and laughing…so excited she was. Maybe inside she was crying… but it is amazing how she smiles hiding her grief within. It is tough for anyone…. to leave your family and go away to a place so far that you wouldn’t be able to see those faces again for 365+365 days. (I know web cams are available…still…)

But I was crying… seeing all of that I was crying. I felt like hugging her and not letting her go. I felt like telling her that I need her as much as I need my family.

We got into the car. I luckily had a chance to sit beside her while she held my hand into hers and started with her ever so lively blabber. That’s the best thing about her. Some people cry with you, others just try to bring a smile on your face…you know they just cannot see you sad.

We laughed again. In between a few tears did roll down my cheeks but then… I told you… she wouldn’t let us cry… so we laughed … :)

And then we got down at the airport. Met the other two friends- Harika and Divya and a whole lot of their relatives. They were obviously getting busier with each passing moment. Div came by and gave me a hug and told me not to cry. It made me cry again.

Harika and I, just exchanged a few glances… don’t know why. It still baffles me. We are apparently the thickest of friends …like I always said… nobody knows me better than what she does. She knows the good… and the bad in me... just everything … yet… yesterday was a complete mystery. I’m just assuming that some things are better not said. And so she preferred not to :O

While box gave me back those glances just to check if I was all right. With her sweet lil gestures she kept saying- Plz don’t cry Div.

All through this Shailu too kept saying- Don’t cry Div, they would not want to see us sad while leaving.

That’s how she controlled her plight.

But how would not I cry? They are my best friends. And it obviously hurts to see them leave. And I never learned to hide my feelings – love, hate, insecurity, possessiveness, anger…whatever!

And they left… smiling and waving.

On the way back home, I cried again. I was rather afraid to live a life without them.
I thought to myself– Shailu is my baby, I got to take care of her… but who would take care of me?
And just then she held my hand…tightly…assuring me that she is still there. Babies are the biggest joy of your life… and sometimes they even prove the biggest support!

It was 4AM when i received a text message, I wondered who might have sent me a message to me at the time of the night... it was Lena's I missed you message. Janu i dint have enough balance in my cell to sms you to say that I wont be online :(

This is probably the last post I’m writing for this year unless I really get an urge to write something. (That can even be tomorrow :D ). So Happy Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all!!

P.S - I’m in delhi from 28th of December to don’t-know-when. So I might not get a chance to visit your blogs … please bear with my absence ;)

People

2008-12-21T21:47:00.003+05:30

There are people who know you.
There are people who THINK they know you.

There are people who are right
There are people who THINK they are right

There are people who are nice to you
There are people who are SEEMINGLY nice to you

There are people who genuinely care for you
There are people who DONT

There are people who love you.
There are people who ACT like they love you

There are people who deserve your love
There are people who deserve INDIFFERENCE

People come, people leave
The former ones stay…the latter ones leave

And only after they leave…you realize who is worth being a part of your life and who is not ;)

The PIF gift

2008-12-20T00:02:00.001+05:30

An year back, Lena said-

"I promise to send a small handmade gift to the first three people who reply to this post on my blog, specifying that they accept the PIF challenge. I do not know what the gift will be as of now, but it will be something personalized and I promise to have it delivered to them within one year from today, no matter what. Of course, as the name indicates, the condition is that all three of them must in turn pay it forward the same way, by putting up a post linking to this one on their blog and promising to send three others a handmade gift."

And finally, I received the long awaited gift from Janu this Monday :). This is what Janu had sent me as a PIF gift.

Since I could not give my address due to some personal problems, I had to collect it from a post office some twelve kilometers away from my home :P. I was obviously excited…about the letter, the handmade bracelet and the chocolates :). And as you can see I got more than what I expected – a small huggable pillow with – YOU”RE SPECIAL printed on it :)

When i first saw the packet I was like- wow! A big pack of gifts :P means more and more Russian chocolates :P.

I opened it… at the post office itself :P couldn’t wait till I get home :(. And you know Janu… the first I did after opening the cover was – reading your letter. I was more absorbed into reading what you wrote for me rather than those chocolates that you had sent. (They take the second place though :P PIF gift is only a complimentary :P).

My sweet Div, Divvi, Divvu

This is not a letter but a few notes about how much you matter to me.

You’re the sweetest girl and that’s because you eat too much chocolate :P.
You’re my 3AM friend. You’re a special person. of course you know this but I will repeat it again and again.
You know me better than my real sister does. Well, you’re as much a real sister as she is.
Me loves you a lot. You know that. That’s why I always sms you even though you don’t reply.
I will come to India, that’s a promise. And you will be one among few whom I will meet. And we will go to chocolate house and I will pay. That’s a promise.
But you pay for ice creams.
I Love You sweets
I care about you.
I miss you all the time when you’re not online. And you’re more than just a great friend to me. You’re my sweet little cute sister. Love always, Lena

I cried while reading the letter. When you said I’m sweet. When you said I’m your 3AM friend. When you said I’m special. When you said you miss me when I’m offline. When you said I know you better than your real sister does. When you said I’m as much a real sister as she is to you. When you said you love me a lot. When you said that you sms ,me but I don’t reply. When you said that you’ll come to India and I’ll be among the few whom you’re gonna meet. When you said that you would take me to chocolate house.

And I smiled when you said you will pay :P

You know letters make me emotional. Even if I read something silly and funny written by someone close to me…they brings tears. That is what happened at the post office. Then I took a sneak peek of the NUMBER of chocolates and smiled to myself :) – today’s going to be a chocolate day ;) and then the imprinted lines on the pillow.

On the way back home. I was reminded of the PIF post, my first stupid mail to you, the one year journey along the roads of friendship, the times when you were sad and I stood by you and those times when I was/am :P sad/mad and you always stood by me.

Was also reminded of one particular chat when you gave me some virtual hugs because I was feeling low and I said- these are not real ones Janu. I want real hugs that can comfort me. And you replied- I wish I could give you some real ones dear.

A single tear dropped from my eyes remembering that chat and you know I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I realized that I was driving my bike.
For a moment I thought I was almost gone.

And Janu you did send me a real hug. REALLY. Since that day I’ve been sleeping with the pillow in my arms. (lol, no romance intended :P). The pillow that you had sent me is no less than a real hug. By the way I shared the chocolates with family and friends. But the two big bars were made ONLY for me and so dint feel like sharing :P.

This is for you janu ;) click to enlarge :)

Well, it is Saturday so I guess I can dedicate a song to Janu in the form of MMM.
My favorite things from the movie- The sound of music.

Sid's dedication

2008-12-18T21:45:00.004+05:30

Sid of Silent Recollections has posted a poem as a dedication- to me / my grandfather I'm not sure ;) . All i wanna say is that sid, you know what makes me happy :) and when :) . It just made me feel a lil proud of myself :)

Love u :) Keep smiling always ;) and Thank you so much!!

Div's words of wisdom :)

2008-12-16T01:03:00.005+05:30

Love should not be forced…. Love CANNOT be forced.

I’ve heard so much about love. Each one of us has a different tale to say about love…- love is an addiction, love is unconditional, love is pain, love is bliss, love is a game, love is blind, love is not having to say sorry, love is love…. but for me…as I realized in the past few weeks…To Love…is…To care. Sometimes you just can’t stop loving someone…. maybe coz you can’t stop caring for him.

Sometimes you don’t care about losing your self. …That is... when you fear losing someone else.

It is always good to fear losing people…otherwise you never learn to value them. You take them for granted and it’s the worst thing you can ever do to someone you love.

A man is best known by his courteousness towards a woman. I believe so.

The rest for some other time :P

P.S- Sorry for not having replied to some of the comments in the previous post :(

The plight of a child

2008-12-13T23:33:00.008+05:30

Picture this. An estranged couple raging against each other in the middle of the road. Their only three-year-old staring at them with complete innocence. At his age he even doesn’t know what FEAR is like! Just then the father reaches out for him, lifts him up in the air and threatens his wife that he would hit the kid to the ground if she continued to raise her voice. This wife still doesn’t care to shut her mouth for the sake of her own child.

Last night I went out for a walk with my aunt…maybe just to witness this horrible incident. I grabbed the child from the man’s hands and waited for the situation to pacify and then handed over the boy into some safe hands.

Ten years henceforth, maybe the child would be writing this to heal himself.

Dear someone,

Another restless night!

Sometimes I wonder why two people come together when they were never meant to be… yes I’m talking about my parents indeed. All these years I’ve seen them fighting over every possible issue. Its like they search for reasons to fight. I remember not a single moment of happiness shared or problems discussed. A two-minute talk was enough for them to blow away disgust. And during those times they don’t think of anything or anybody else-not even me. They throw things at each other; they break the costliest of furniture, they use absolute repulsive language. Sometimes I’m afraid of coming under their influence and using such language. You know I don’t want to. I really don’t want to.

Sometimes I even wish I were born in a different family. Just sometimes. They never think of how these things affect my life. I am sleeping and all of a sudden I hear voices from inside screaming and scowling at each other. I try going back to sleep but if it continues I have to get out of my bed and separate them, push them into two different rooms. Though it rarely happen that the situation pacifies due to my intervention. It might even get aggravated you know… specially if I take sides.

Difference of opinions, ego clashes, and superiority complexes – all of them take their toll on ME. I get scary dreams. Maybe I should say nightmares…like you know someone falling off from the terrace or my world devoid of love, people leaving me. My heart beats thrice its normal rate before I realize its only a dream!

I see the worst during exams time. I need some sleep, peace of mind… at least then? My exams mean nothing for them. They never helped me with my studies. Still…they expect me to stand amongst the top in school. Can someone tell me HOW am I supposed to?

But anyway life at school is better. At least I don’t get to see all this during school hours! And after school? Where do I hide? Where? And even If I do? How long? THIS is my home. I can’t run away. This is where I belong!

I wonder what our neighbors think of my family. I understand it is annoying to hear loud voices in the dark hours of the night when everybody is soundly asleep. Yes I understand. I wish even they did.

I thought about running away from these difficulties but then I’m afraid what the situation would be like when I’m not home. It can only get worse.

I can’t deny that I get angry and annoyed for silliest of reasons at times. That’s when they say- Look at other children of your age and look at yourself. I retort –Look at their parents… and now compare them with YOU. Did you give me the love I needed?

At least I have this excuse - Good or bad…for whatever I am, THEY are responsible.

From Stolen Moments...

2008-12-13T12:45:00.004+05:30

This week's MMM:

Aur aahista kijiye baatein, dhadakane koi sun raha hoga
Aur aahista kijiye baatein, dhadakane koi sun raha hoga
Labz girane na paaye honton se, waqt ke haath inako chun lenge
Kaan rakhate hain ye darodiva, raaz ki saari baat sun lenge
Aur aahista kijiye baatein

Aise bolo ki dil ka afasaana, dil sune aur nigaah doharaaye
Aise bolo ki dil ka afasaana, dil sune aur nigaah doharaaye
Apane chaaro taraf ki ye duniya
Saans ka shor bhi
Na sun paaye, na sun paaye

Aur aahista kijiye baatein, dhadakane koi sun raha hoga
Labz girane na paaye honton se, waqt ke haath inako chun lenge
Kaan rakhate hain ye darodiva, raaz ki saari baat sun lenge
Aur aahista kijiye baatein

Aayiye band karale darwaaje, raat sapane chura na le jaaye
Aayiye band karale darwaaje, raat sapane chura na le jaaye
Koi jhonka hawa ka aawara, dil ki baaton ko uda
Na le jaye, na le jaye

Aur aahista kijiye baatein, dhadakane koi sun raha hoga
Labz girane na paaye honton se, waqt ke haath inko chun lenge
Kaan rakhte hain ye darodiva, raaz ki saari baat sun lenge
Aur aahista kijiye baatein

Aaj itane karib aa jaao , duriyon ka kahi nishaan na rahe
Aaj itane karib aa jaao , duriyon ka kahi nishaan na rahe
Aise ek dusare me ghum ho jayen, faasala koi darmiya
Na rah jaye, na rah jaye

Aur aahista kijiye baatein, dhadakane koi sun raha hoga
Labz girane na paaye honton se, waqt ke haath inko chun lenge
Kaan rakhte hain ye darodiva, raaz ki saari baat sun lenge

Beautiful –that’s the only word I have for this song. I had this as my callertune for a month but had to change since it has got a male voice prominently. Love it nevertheless :)

Janu, check out the video, its AWESOME!! - I couldn’t find the translation for you this time :(

Remembering him...

2008-12-11T00:53:00.007+05:30

“How much time does he have?”
“I’m afraid only days…”

That was two years back.

Just two days later… Dec11th….3 AM…we got a call from the hospital about grandpa’s condition being serious. Masi woke me up and together we started for the hospital…taking utmost care so we don’t get granny out of her sleep. (Considering she hadn’t slept for a week already)

At the hospital… we saw him struggling to breathe.

I started crying and I was made to walk out of the room.

At 7 AM, after four hours of battling for life…. he breathed his last.

Grandpa wanted to live. He thought it was a mild tumor and he would be fine in no time. Neither we had the courage to tell him about his cancer. He lived with hope, with strength, with belief…till the end.

He always knew we would not be able to do without him. He knew there wasn’t anybody in the family who could replace his position, sincerely take up his responsibilities, spend money as wisely as he did, take care of his much loved family. And he was right…even after two years of his demise… nobody has been able to prove himself as responsible as he was!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two years from the time you passed away
Still the memories of you like just yesterday
At times I feel you near…
Like we are watching TV together
And sometimes I search for you
I refuse to believe you are no more here

When I’m sad, thinking of you makes me double sad
And when I’m happy…. you multiply my joys.
To share my joys I talk to your photographs
Maybe you’re hearing me but I cannot

Umpteen things that I want to do for you
A foundation, a donation on your name to name a few
But too small are my abilities, sometimes I give up
I’m vexed; I have lost the purpose of this life

I know you’re watching me from there
Know in my heart you will always be there
Not just not as any physical figure
But someone I love the most and will forever treasure

Div's Blessings :P

2008-12-08T23:02:00.022+05:30

One year of blogging and sixty awards. Not bad :P though I must admit most of them were rather a token of love from some dear friends. Just felt like passing on some awards to my favorite blogs and bloggers…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winning Attitude Award: Lena, Sami, Preeti, Vinay, Pranav, Sid, Farah, PJ, Neha, Meher, Arv, Ankur, Shrav

I love your blog award: Vinay, Sid, Farah, PJ, Neha, Raks, Meher, Arv, Ankur, Pranav, Humbl devil, Anwesa, Anil, Deluded, Richa, Swayam, Stephen, Hemz, Shrav, aneesh Indu, Vinu,

You make my day award: Vinay, Sid, Raks, PJ, Neha, Meher, Ankur, Pranav. Hemz, Anil, shrav

Your comments create magic award: Sid, Pranav, Farah, Neha, Meher, Arv, Ankur, Humbl devil, Anil, Stephen, Hemz, aneesh, raks, Shrav, Richa, Swayam

You have my heart award: Vinay, Sid, Raks, Farah, PJ, Neha, Meher.

This blogger is truly sweet award: Vinay, Pranav, Hemz, Farah, PJ, Neha, Meher, Arv, Ankur, Humbl devil, Anwesa, Anil, Deluded, Sid, aneesh, Indu, raks, Vinu, Shrav, Richa, Swayam

Roar for powerful words: Vinay, Pranav, Farah, Sid, Meher, Arv, Stephen, Indu, Vinu

Thanks for writing: Lena, Sami, Preeti, Vinay, Pranav, Farah, PJ, Neha, Meher, Arv, Ankur, Humbl devil, Anwesa, Anil, Deluded, Sid, Stephen, Hemz, aneesh Indu, raks, Vinu, Shrav, Richa, Swayam

Lovely blogger award: Raks, Neha, Anil, Indu, Pranav, Vinu, Shrav, Swayam, Richa. (Assuming all others have it :))

Best blogging buddies award: Vinay, Sid, PJ, Raks, Farah, Neha, Meher, Ankur.

Do check PRANAV’s blog here. I love/enjoy it and I’m sure every one of you will :).

LOVE ALWAYS....

Div ;)

That thing called....

2008-12-07T01:39:00.003+05:30

Many things money can buy
My favorite food, my favorite attire
A beautiful house close to the seaside
Money can make my life easy
Without much of an affair
It can make me rich
Can get me anything I desire

A few things that money can’t buy
True friendships and relationships of joy
Unfathomable love that we all receive
These are the real riches we fail to perceive
They leave memories of a good old life
That one takes along even after he dies

Money is the only barrier between relationships.
Of all the things…. it is something I never envied.

Kya hua tera wada?

2008-12-06T00:19:00.007+05:30

This week’s MMM :)

--MALE--
(Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada) - 2
Bhoolega dil jis din tumhe
Woh din zindagi ka aakhri din hoga
Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada

--FEMALE--
Bhoolega dil jis din tumhe
Woh din zindagi ka aakhri din hoga
Kya hua tera waada

--MALE--
Yaad hai mujhko, tune kaha tha
Tumse nahin roothenge kabhi
Dil ki tarah se haath mile hain
Kaise bhala chhootenge kabhi
Teri baahon mein beeti har shyaam
Bewafa yeh bhi kya yaad nahin
Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada
Bhoolega dil jis din tumhe
Woh din zindagi ka aakhri din hoga
Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada
Oh kehne waale mujhko farebi
Kaun farebi hai yeh bata
Woh jisne gham liya pyaar ki khaatir
Ya jisne pyaar ko bech diya
Nasha daulat ka aisa bhi kya
Ke tujhe kuch bhi yaad nahin
Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam, woh iraada
Bhoolega dil jis din tumhe
Woh din zindagi ka aakhri din hoga
Kya hua tera waada
Woh kasam woh irada

And the translation from GOOGLE :

What happened (to) your promise, that oath, that intention?
The day that my heart forgets you…would be the last day of my life

I remember, you had told me,
That u won’t ever be mad at me
Our hands are joined through our hearts
How can they ever separate?

Every evening spent in your arms
Unfaithful! Don't you remember this?
You call me a cheat
but tell me who is the cheat?
The one who accepted sorrow, for the sake of love?
Or the one who had sold love?

What kind of intoxication is this wealth
that you don't remember any of this!!

Relationships are a comfort in the beginning. Just sometimes with time Priorities change. People change, Promises broken and expectations unfulfilled.

Love seemingly lost… leaving only memories of the good times.

As we ask our self… What happened (to the promise, the oath and the intentions?

AND WITH MUCH LOVE...............

Guys are Guys :|

2008-12-03T23:50:00.004+05:30

lena: they have a different mindset :D

Div: they dont have a heart :P

we must donate :P

hahahahahahaha

------------------------------
----------------------
----------------
------------

After a few more discussions:

lena: lol

like i said they have different mindset

Div: like i said -they have no heart :P

and we must donate :P

lena: ummm... me doesn't want to donate :P

Div: i would love to :P in exchange for brains

:P

P.S- NO OFFENSE INTENDED... but i cant resist myself from saying - guys are just guys :|

Junglee jaanwar :O

2008-12-03T08:01:00.002+05:30

This li'l dumbhead comes back home from school and says these things to me :

You are crazy
Junglee jaanwar (Wild animal)

You shameless creature!

I turn to my masi and give her a :O expression

Masi : haha, he has just learnt some new words!!

Me: But why me? :O why not You, Sumanth, Granny or Dhriti? :O

Masi: He thought of you as the perfect choice ;)

:| :| :| :| :| :| :| :| :|

All's well that ends well :)

2008-12-03T07:08:00.003+05:30

And a week's battle ends :P

Exam fever :|

2008-12-01T22:19:00.003+05:30

Exam time on blogger. Takes me back to November 2007. Last exam of that semester and we were given three days for preparation. First two days were somehow misused (I used to be online for a minimum of ten hours even during my exam time :D )and the last day marked the beginning of nervousness frustration and loss of hope. Partially because some other trivial things bothered me much. All of a sudden I started crying. Messaged Box at like 3AM about my miserable condition- that only six hours were left for the exam and I haven’t even started with my preparation. And the sweetheart that she is…she called up as soon as she saw the message and started giving me tips on what to read, how to read, that she would help me out with the revision in college and if needed she would come to college a bit early so we both can finish off with the revision of at least two units. And with that level of confidence she had built up inside me… I studied hard for the next three hours, was satisfied with my preparation…hoping that I would definitely pass the exam.

Would you believe if I said that my eyes are filled with tears as I am typing these lines!! :(

Anyways… all the best to everybody giving their exams this month. Special wishes to Sid, Neha, Raks and Vinay.

Seems the other three are quite flippant about their exams but Sid is one guy who fears exams too much. Same-pinch Sid, that’s one reason I haven’t decided on going for higher studies. I can’t handle them anymore :|. Still, like I told you before…take short breaks in between, if you feel too low talk to people who make you feel better and most of all…take it easy :P

Love.

Just another sleepless night

2008-12-01T03:51:00.003+05:30

Its 4 AM

Have been trying to sleep since 1.30 AM

Need to get up at 7 AM

Just another sleepless night

Sometimes i feel am being punished for nothing.

This will put you off to sleep :P

2008-12-01T00:19:00.007+05:30

Voice-0001.amr - Ammamma

That’s not my voice but my granny’s…a lullaby that she has been singing for years now. For her four children and eight grandchildren. I had always wanted to record this one song somehow without her knowledge. Today I just asked if she would sing it for me so I could record and listen to it whenever I want to. After a lot of persuasion she finally did it for me.

Sweeeeeeeeeet na? ;)

The Dumbi Gang Party!

2008-11-30T09:00:00.002+05:30

As I had mentioned in a previous post, the official Anniversary Celebrations of our Dumbi Gang are being held today at our very own blog here. Get yourself over there as soon as possible! :)

Music to my ears

2008-11-29T17:39:00.005+05:30

What music is to me… I would never be able to put into words. Particularly those with touching lyrics that moisten the eyes and take me back to memories. Isn't it amazing how those lyricists write lines that concur with every state of your mind and heart?

I have had this strange connection with Hindi songs right from the time I started to love music…I've never felt that kind of connection even with songs of my mother tongue. From those old romantics of 70's to the recent melodies…I've quite a big list of favorites.

All of them have a special place in my heart…and from today… even on this blog of mine. Each song will be posted as My Music Mania on every Saturday (Unless I get disconnected from the net) along with my memories associated with it (if any) :P

(Ok, the idea is inspired from arpi di who posts her favorites as SONG OF THE MOMENT :P I hope she will not mind :P)

This week’s MMM:

Tujhse naaraz nahin zindagi…from the movie Masoom

Tujhse naaraz nahin zindagi hairan hoon main
Tere masoom sawaalon se pareshan hoon main

Jeene ke liye sochaa hi nahin dard sambhaalne honge
Muskuraye to muskurane ke karz utaarne honge

Muskuraye kabhi to lagta hai jaise hothon pe karz rakha hai

Aankh agar bhar aai hain boondein baras jayengi
kal kya pata kis ke liye aankhen taras jayengi

Jaane kahan gum hua kahan kho gaya
Ek aansoo chhupa ke rakha tha

Zindagi tere gham ne hume rishte naye samjhaye
Dhoop mein mile jo bhi mile pyar ke thande saaye...

And the translation (from Google) of the lyrics to English (Specially for you Lena)

Life, I am not upset with you… I am just surprised
And distressed by your innocent questions

I never thought that in order to live, I would have to bear with the pains
To smile, I would have to take on the debt of smiling
If ever I were to smile, I would have to insure this debt on my lips

Today if I became teary-eyed, the tears will fall…
Who knows tomorrow whom these eyes will wait for?

Who knows where I had lost...
That one tear I had kept hidden...

Life, your sorrows have taught us new relations
Whomever you shall meet in the sunlight, you will feel the cool shade of love...

There aren’t any special memories with this song but I always listen to it when I am sad…and I actually feel good after that.

P.S- I can feel the anguish sustaining the wrath expressed by fellow bloggers following the Mumbai attacks. But I myself haven’t been able to write a word on it. I personally feel that the worst has been incurred and the fanatics have succeeded in their motive. As for the NSG killing them- I suppose the terrorists were prepared for it. After all the damage has been done.

Its high time the Govt realizes that Prevention is better than Cure.

Sharing the fleeting joy...

2008-11-28T00:00:00.008+05:30

I have not been in my high-spirits during the past one week. Actually I’m still frustrated…with life, with myself and everything that’s happening around.

But between all of this… a few things made me smile.

The first is Sami's gift: I wish I had a cam so I could click pictures of what she had sent for me as a part of the due birthday gift :P. A sweet (read small) letter, two chocolate boxes (again read small :P), a lovely stole and a perfume LOVE AFFAIR :O :D. Of course the closest to my heart will always be the letter (considering that she hasn’t ever written a letter to anybody :P including her love :P).

Hey lambi,

Finally I sat down to write down something for you :) (Sorry don’t mind my handwriting :D).

Just want to say that I love you loads and loads and you are like a “real” sweet sister to me whom I can not only laugh and talk with but also fight to my hearts content- HA HA HA!

No matter wherever we go or whatever you do, may our love always grow. Hope to meet you as soon as possible… (at least at my wedding *blush blush*) :P

May every little wish from your pure heart come true and may you always be the queen of your king’s heart.

BE HAPPY ALWAYS.

Keep smiling :)

Stop growing taller (lol).

GOD BLESS YOU LAMBI.

LOVE YOU LOADS.

UMMMMMMMMMAAA!

Behind the letter she made a brick wall of all the names she gave me till date- Div, Divvi, Divvu, Lambi, Dumbi, Pagli, Sissy, Goodlegooba, Divya, Sweetheart, Baby :D :D

That was her letter…she tried her best to make it look better than what I made for her but of course failed :P

I know she would kill me if I thanked her for everything…

Mots, no matter how many times we fight… no matter how many times YOU shout at me :P … I will always have the same love for you- the love of a “REAL” sister. Plz don't ever think I love you any less. Ummaa.

And Vinay made me smile yet again today :). He made this pic with a poem for me. The poem is about my love for my grandfather. I am stunned how nicely you have put my feelings for my grandpa into a poem. And you know this is the bestest gift anybody could have ever given me :).

My First Poem : A quirk of fate

2008-11-25T22:19:00.007+05:30

A smart young fellow admired by all
A gifted intellect and a heart of gold
A belief system so strong
Hopes and dreams that held his brawn

He stood an example for platonic love
People valued his selfless thoughts
His body and soul rooted in faith
Trusted God to every extent

A quirk of fate and he tumbles down
Hope dies by inches and breaks him along
Sick at heart, he hits the bottles
Gives up hope and ends the battles

Questions his existence and his strong beliefs
Loses conscience and blames his ethics
He shoots his mouth and goes weak
Lives in doldrums and dies in grief

For all that you do, I have nothing to say
But Look to your right, you will find me there
A rising star I see in your eyes
Reach for the skies and fight to the finish

P.S - This poem was the first one i ever wrote, a dedication to a friend and a treasured memory. Do not search for the comments section- disabled ;)

P.P.S- RECOMMENDED POST - PK's - The Elite..The Impact...

Divvi DIvvi Divvi Tam

2008-11-23T02:15:00.007+05:30

Was reminded of a few words Grandpa used to say when he was alive.

"Divi Divi Divi tam Nuvvantene nakishtam"

I need not explain the first three words ;) But just for the non-telguite readers…the words subsequent to Divi mean “You are the one who I like the most”.

Needless to say…I blushed every time he said that :P

When I lost hope and gave up things with much diffidence… he taught me how being positive helps. Not that I learnt to be positive. I still think being positive means having hopes and expectations, which ultimately lead you to being a discontented soul.

"Success once will never let you look back hence". He used to say.

I couldn’t agree more. Back in school I was rather a dumb n depressed student who always allowed people to make fun of her. But through out my intermediate I was quite industrious. Studied really hard and always topped in Chemistry. Mathematics wasn’t bad either. I was amazed at my own capabilities. And when I got to hear some really pleasing applauds from the teachers, I decided to keep it going.

Of course engineering almost killed my instinct. Or maybe priorities changed. Today I don’t have the will to do anything. Just eat, sleep, chat and take immense pleasure in doing so. No worries about future.

My brother called me a waste today :P Good for nothing… I just agreed :D :D. He asked me to post my resume into freshersworld.com and I said- I don’t know how to do that…you can find my resume in the UNUSED DESKTOP folder in the system….please do it for me.

I am a waste. ;)

The post was supposed to be about my Grandfather :O

Never would I hurt him, not even in my wildest dreams

But one day I fell in love and broke his strong beliefs

Even so… I was protected with utmost care

From every other member who demeaned my moral fiber

He asked me to concentrate on my career and that it was no way to heed…that bringing the best of men for me was solely his responsibility.

But I already was in love and could not pull back. Falling in love was easy… breaking up is not.

I do regret for hiding so many things from him. Sometimes i even wish he doesn't get to see all this. But I see no other way.

Someday I thought he would understand….but before that he was gone.

P.S - People who thought i am literally jobless... i am not :P i do have an offer from SATYAM...just the joining date seems to be in March 2009 :P

P.P.S - Somebody try and give me a download link for a good voice recorder...through which i can save and upload some files. Whoever does that.... will get to hear a song from me :P :P . I know now nobody would risk :D

! ? :O :(

2008-11-20T22:43:00.006+05:30

Trust… comes easily to me
And it leaves… twice as much easily
Still…I never stopped trusting
For when there’s no trust…there’s no love!

---------------------------------------------------

Ever felt depressed for absolutely no reason?
Am feeling so blank, so jobless at the moment :O
If i posted my resume here, would someone offer me a job? :(

P.S—The friendship celebrations are being postponed to 30th of this month because someone is REALLY busy (Lena of course :P). And do send the dedications people….we open the mail box only to find no new messages :P For more details- click here

A lonely star

2008-11-17T00:45:00.003+05:30

A myriad of stars
Forming a cluster
But a lonely another
Drifting out of kilter

My bestest friends are leaving for the U.S this December. I have nothing new to say, just- I LOVE YOU, I WILL MISS YOU and I WILL NEED YOU....ALWAYS!

Missing you...

2008-11-13T19:42:00.002+05:30

“I wish I had always walked alone...

Then I would never have missed you around”

Live it :) ... Don't kill it :(

2008-11-13T00:26:00.003+05:30

Failure in exams. Such a Disappointment.
Cheated in love. Feels like hell, I know.
Pressure at office.
Hurt, dejection, betrayal.
Personal life at peril.
The Nobody-loves-me feeling.

Ever felt like putting an end to all?

Suicide is often associated with cowardice but I believe it’s a thing of the brave. How else could anybody leave the world… his loved ones …knowing that he would never return…he would never get to see those faces again. The faces that at sometime or the other have been a reason behind the smiles.

Life is precious…in spite of the umpteen difficulties it throws at us every now and then-life is precious… for you live it only once.

During all those difficulties … spend time with people who can make you smile or just cry but don’t give up on your life.

Coz nothing and nobody is worth the sacrifice of your life.

And because in the end…everything’s gonna be alright ;). Believe it or not.

P.S- Part of Div's not-so-famous but true philosophies :).

P.P.S- See life is soo colorful :P just like my post :D

Forever love

2008-11-11T22:34:00.006+05:30

My absence- If it is of any concern to you...

I will never know coz i would never leave you

P.S - I wish mosquitoes existed only in Russia :(

Of Friends...Parties...and Gifts

2008-11-09T02:07:00.016+05:30

Gems may be precious, but friends are priceless and the more we live the more we agree with it. And nothing can keep you apart from people you care about, because there is no distance too big between friends as love gives wings to the heart.

It has been almost the year since the great friendship was born. The friendship that marked the beginning of Dumbi Gang. And on the 22nd November we celebrate one year of totally girlie friendship: Sami, Div and Lena have got to know about each other’s existence at this very time one year ago. Miss Preeti joined us a bit later.

Here we are inviting you all to a big party that will take place on the 22nd this month (location will be given out later as it is top secret information). Of course since it is a birthday party gifts are a must. Like Richard Bach once said "Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness..." so if you want to wish for the happiness of the Dumbi Gang, you are welcome to do so by mailing the gifts to thedumbibloggers@gmail.com

You can choose if you want to give your gift to a certain person you feel more connected to, to the whole gang of us, or to the friendship in general. Just lets have some fun here!! :)

More info on the coming party will be following… Stay with us till then… and later ;)

PS: Written of course by Lena, Posted of course by ME

Silent Conversations

2008-11-08T12:55:00.004+05:30

A few friends in my life… I’ve never been in lack of words for.

Others… I’ve never felt the need of words for.

** Dedicated to a dear friend- Rukmini

Java Queen

2008-11-07T18:45:00.007+05:30

After nearly six months of my association with JAVA and his family, all I can say is that my knowledge is expanding and I’ve decided to share this hard-earned knowledge. FREE OF COST (proving yet again that the best things in life are for free.)

**Concentrating more on interview questions.

What is a well-formed xml document?

An xml document that is formed well is called a well-formed xml document.

What is a valid xml?

An xml document that is not invalid is called a valid xml document.

One similarity between eXtensible markup language and Hyper Text markup Language?

Both are markup languages.

What is a stateful bean?

A bean that is full of state is known as stateful bean.

What is a stateless bean?

A session bean that has no state is called a stateless bean.

If you’re wondering what a BEAN is…

Go back to KG.

What is the difference between Java beans and Enterprise java beans?

Enterprise.

What is JSP?

A 3-letter word never to be found in your dictionary.

What is the difference between web server and application server?

Don’t tell me you can’t see the difference. It is soooo obvious.

What is garbage collection?

You would be knowing better :P

What are user-defined exceptions?

Exceptions that are defined by the user.

What is their purpose?

User can happily define exceptions.

What is HOT deployment?

*Blushing*

What are cookies?

Cookies are small, flat-baked treat, usually round, containing milk, flour, eggs, and sugar, etc

Can you write a simple java program?

SIMPLE JAVA PROGRAM.

** Vinay, Thanks for the title!

P.S - If clover is reading this... lemme know your name and city, your blogs are private :( :P

Life's like that...

2008-11-05T21:43:00.002+05:30

A few things I’ve learnt in the past few days…

Ø During tough times… only you can help yourself. Nobody else can. Friends are always there… but only to support you through everything. Ultimately YOU are your only aid.

Ø Someone once said I am an emotional fool. I say I am emotions-full. There is a difference and I love being one.

Ø Happiness is followed by sadness and vice-versa. This moment you are sad about something…things will change the next moment. (Moment here not meaning literally…it can even mean years :P LOL)

Ø Sometimes chocolate ice-creams and chicken biryanis seem to be the best cure to your problems :P

Ø Nobody is worth losing your self-respect. But sometimes you have to lose yourself…. not for anybody but for your own survival.

Ø It is really difficult to concentrate in your JAVA class when you are depressed. Better skip the class before the professor asks you to get out.

Ø People are very often misunderstood. Watch your words before you speak out.

Ø Apart from food, water and air…you need LOVE to LIVE unless you are the successor of Osama bin laden.

Ø Care without love is ok. But love without care is not. (Arcane thoughts, dismiss them :P Do not put forward any questions on this… its something only I would understand but can not explain :P )

Ø There are relationships of convenience. (Someone once said this to me and I denied. I cant help but agree with him today :| )

Ø Cry…until you have no more tears left. And then you will start laughing like a pig :P

Will come up with more…maybe the next time I am down and depressed :P

I donno what

2008-11-04T17:53:00.005+05:30

Where fear was of no concern

Suffering could not be found

People cared like never before

Their love knew no bounds

Days filled with laughter

I knew not what tears were

A place cocooned from evil thoughts

As secure as cosseted treasures

Where hatred had no existence

And life seemed much easier

That's a place I grieve for

But a mirage it appeared

Depressed. Scared.

I hate my emotions…they make me weak.

Nothing and nobody helps. I feel things falling apart. Wish I were stronger. Wish MY moods

were in MY control.

P.S- Not really in a position to read blogs. Hope it is understandable. Will be back when things get straightened.

Friendship Faked

2008-11-03T22:23:00.007+05:30

For caring and loving you
With such selfless empathy
And helping you through times
When you had lost your entity

Sacrificing my self-respect
Would be nothing but a penalty!

Today the truth lay before my eyes
The real feelings behind those faked
Wonder how it took me so long
To see that selfish motive in your ways

You never realized I needed you too
I feel like I was only being used

So much self-absorbed were you
That you never bothered
What you’ve been taking away
In the false name of friendship

Once again I regret being your friend
For satisfying your needs till no end

Stop taking advantage of my love. Chahe kuch bhi ho…duniya upar neeche ho jaye…Divya mujhe chod ke nahi jayegi…

I wish I could say the same about you. Just because you know I will be there for you… you cant expect me to bear with everything you do or sacrifice my everything for you. Learn to value my love.

Do not take me for granted
I may not always be there
Today tomorrow or maybe later
I would leave this world
The sooner you realize this…the better

So treasure my love
Keep me close to your heart
Give me the same feeling
That you will never depart

I so feel the need of a baby right now. :(

I wish someday you realize...

2008-11-03T12:33:00.005+05:30

Your PRESENCE in my life….

matters much more than just EXISTENCE.

P.S- The beautifoooool lady in the pic wishing for her beloved to realize :P Not to be correlated with my personal life unless n until mentioned :P :P. *winks*

Towards 56 -Happy birthday Sami

2008-11-02T00:01:00.000+05:30

Hey Moti,you are getting older :P. Congrats for turning 55 this year. I have nothing new to say coz you've already read the card...so this post is only for displaying my creative work :P Love you lots. Umaaahhh

P.S- That’s the card I made for Sami of Sameera's haven. Cute na?

All smiles

2008-10-29T22:06:00.004+05:30

It’s amazing how life throws surprises when we least expect them. Something similar happened today. Little surprises…. but like someone’s status message once read- those little things, little surprises…they are NOT little.

Thanks vinay for that sweet testimonial you wrote for me.

Yes we’ve been friends for less than a month now and I was really wondering what you had to say about me besides that usual lie – greatest poetess of bloggerville ;). Lolz and how sweet…you did come up with something really different- you called me a devil :). Btw, of all that was written in the testimonial…my favorite lines are:

“May our friendship last, till Feb has 31 days!”

Tell me; is there a better poet than you? ;)

You made me smile and I am sooo thankful to you for this sweet little gesture. *Hugs*

That's for you. (Awards are all I have right now, you know I suck at photoshop :( )

Yet another surprise was from my best friend Harika who always spams my mailbox with some unusual forwards. Of course they find their way into the bin without being read.

Strange enough, today the subject line of her email read- Read it, do not delete it…not a forward.

(Lolz who can understand me better? I hope you got the hidden message – I do not read forwards… hence don’t bother. :P :P (Specially to Indu and Preeti) :D :D)

And then I find words that bring tears.

Harika was my first acquaintance in college and vice-versa and indefinitely she would remain the best. I remember she was sitting all alone in the last bench and I went back to accompany her. Since then we have been together… sharing the same bench for 4 years. Not to forget those bus journeys…the longer, the best! With her it’s like sharing the same soul…coz there’s nothing she doesn’t know about me. Absolutely nothing.

Oh btw she says I taught her the importance of friends and relationships. *Blushing*.

Like it wasn’t enough to make my day, Lena asks a silly question:

What do you think how come we have become good friends?

How come? I donno, I wonder the same sometimes. Feels great for being such good friend of yours Janu.

lena: i went to facebook today and sent you lots of love and you never show up there :P
but i still send everything to you :P

me: hahahahahahha
rofl
am one big fool :D
I even forgot the password for facebook
Lol

Damn sweet! Someone sends me love even when am not around ;). I couldn’t have asked for more!

Hey wait, I also got an unexpected call today. Just another reason to be happy :)

So much for me…I just felt like making someone feel special too. And so I dropped by my friend’s Srikanth’s house…not for him but for his grandfather who reminds me of mine. Silly me, I took along a Cadbury Diarymilk for him instead of some fresh fruits :P :P. *Budget speaks*

To end with, I would like to say- If you love it…show it…before it’s too late.

Indifference

2008-10-27T19:56:00.002+05:30

Hate me for a million reasons
But I cannot endure indifference
The lack of your concern…
...It hurts more than any pain

:O

2008-10-27T18:27:00.003+05:30

Some people are losers…not because of destiny…. but because they chose to be.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweet memories :)

I am Binjaawwl

2008-10-25T22:16:00.002+05:30

Goodmawning

I yam Binjaawwl

Violet in Kalaaar

P.S – Sorry for not replying to the comments :(

One lazy dumbi :P

2008-10-23T00:21:00.002+05:30

lena: what had happened yesterday dear?

why you didnt sleep?

divya: nothing... just cudnt sleep...coz i was thinking all night about the java class that i had today :P
:D
LOL

lena: dumbi
i am sorry i was not there, logged off frm gtalk yesterday

divya: grr its ok... i dint sleep even for a minute :P finally got out of the bed at 7..and got ready :D

lena: i went to sleep at 2
at least i slept for some time
how was the class?

divya: LOL i slept in the class. ... and ur sms woke me up :x

lena: hahaha so my sms did a good job :P

divya: i read ur sms and slept again :)

lena: why you went to class then?

divya: to sleep :P

lena: dumbi
lazy one

divya: :D

Just another sleepless night

2008-10-22T01:17:00.002+05:30

Some anxious thoughts
And arcane questions
Preoccupy my somber mind
And drive me insane
Many of them I clout
Many keep me thinking
These fearful sleepless nights
Hunting for convincing answers
With an urge to anticipate the future
And a power to change the dire

I need some sleep tonight :(

A question

2008-10-21T00:43:00.004+05:30

How would you feel when in the middle of a serious on-the-phone discussions ….your friend keeps yawning :P ? Just put the phone down? :O

A Nonnet and two 55-fictions ;)

2008-10-19T01:07:00.006+05:30

Friendship- A Nonnet

Hearts connected by a hidden twine
To be great friends they were destined
Neither distance nor the spars
Could keep the two away
Over a jiffy
Moments of bliss
Shared in glee
And love
Prized

NONNET: A nonnet has nine lines. The first line has 9 syllables, the second line 8 syllables, the third line 7 syllables, etc... Until line nine finishes with 1 syllable. It can be on any subject and rhyming is optional.

I dedicate my first nonnet to Lena, Sami and Preeti – my best friends here.

DAYS WITHOUT HER- 55 fiction

“You really have to go?”
“Yes, you know he is ill and my sister needs me ”
“Come back soon, will miss you”
“Will try to. Take care of yourself and the house”

Her HOME seemed to be only a HOUSE since the time she left. Three days without her. Life had never been so boring.

What is 55 Fiction? It is a fiction story, with all the basic elements of a narrative (plot, characters, setting, conflict), in 55 words or less (A non-negotiable rule).

And my first 55 fiction to my Grandmother who has been away for sometime now.

And here’s one more. MARRIAGE- 55 fiction

“Bloody hell! Why are you ignoring my calls and messages? Put it straight you coward.”
“It is all over between us, we can only be good friends now”
“Friends? After all that we have had that night, you call me a good friend? ”
“I never promised love or marriage.”

Hehe, enough of creativity for today :P. First attempt is satisfactory i hope?

LIFE

2008-10-16T23:58:00.003+05:30

Life is worth a trillion things
Otherwise you wouldn’t be living it

Do not hate it for a lost love
Love it for the ones you still have

Do not blow up in vigor or anger
Brace yourself till you snuggle down

Do not give up in difficulties
After a few trials it will be easy

Do not fret over the tears
Rather cherish the few smiles

Do not fear in obscurities
There still will be light coming from within

Do not crush it for the less significant
Build it for the better ones

Do not waste it on yesterday’s sorrows
Live it with today’s hopes

Life is worth living for everything it has to give
If not for yourself, live it for those around

Life is not easy…but it still is worth living! There were times when I felt like giving up for my own good. Something still kept me alive.

P.S- Love, trust, respect…all good things come with a *caution* tag. You ought to think before you give them to somebody, or you end up being hurt badly.

This moment you are happy about something…and the next moment you are destined to be sad! Terrible.

^%$(&(&(&%$

2008-10-16T03:09:00.003+05:30

Lemme know if you have any answers!

What do you fear the most?

Of losing my loved ones.

90% of us would answer that question likewise.

Last night we received a call from the village about a close relative going through the last stages of his life. such a news is terrifying. I imagine people howling in misery, I imagine how the lady would be treated after her husband’s death, if people would still respect and take care of her the same way as her husband did or she would be left devoid of those privileges that she enjoyed before, most of all if she would be able and willing to survive without him.

They also take me back to the days when I had to cope with someone’s death.

But believe me the biggest loss is of the spouse’s.

Death is certainly the most painful thing about life. When I was a child, I remember crying for a short time every night about my grandparents growing old or rather- nearing death. Now I fear losing everybody for nothing in this world seems to be certain. Isn’t it unfair to be given an entire life to love people and then also cope with losing them?

Sometimes I wonder where these people would be going after their death…if there is really a heaven and a hell, if they are still watching everything we do and everything we say, if we would meet them all again when finally death takes over us.

P.S -> check if you have any awards in the post below

Returns

2008-10-15T22:52:00.007+05:30

Thanks a ton for all those comments here. Guess what? Only 15 people commented still the count raised to over 50 :P Special thanks to Ankur, Vinay and Janu!

Now the problem with my processor was roughly what S has guessed- the power supply inside the processor just reached the retirement age :P and so had to replace it with a new one :(. One great IBM officer said that the problem could be because of some virus in the system. I can’t believe he still works for IBM :P

Coming back to the returns… as promised here are some awards for those who took pains in making me smile!

You cheer me up award à to Lena, Ankur, Vinay, Anwesa, Arv, Preeti, Arpi di, Hemu (for the impending post on his blog :D) Divinedu, Deluded (for fighting on my shout box which made me laugh :P) and S.

The next 3 awards are for everyone who has commented on that post :) – Lena, Ankur, Vinz, Aneesh (I still appreciate your effort :P), Anwesa, Arv, Vinay, PJ, Preeti, Indu, Arpid di, S, Sneha di and Hemu :)

If you already have these awards...let me know, will try and replace them with some others :P (Lena and Preeti - i dont have anything new to give you :P Just more of love :P)

Thanks again guys :)

Indirect offence - not meant :P :P

2008-10-14T06:31:00.005+05:30

D: I’ll never fight with your sister, I like her ;)

R: oho :))

D: yaa, the first I spoke to her, she sounded sooo sweet :P

R: Hmm

D: I even love your dad, I remember the first few words we exchanged…I asked for you and he replied- R bahar gaya hai beta…aap kaun baat kar rahe ho? BETA….hez soo loving :)

R: Oh ya so what you indirectly want to say is that…you don’t like my mamma!

D: LOL haha na na :P

R: Samajh gaya

D: oyee no I dint meant that :P i just fear her, she almost shouted in the first conversation we had :D i asked for you and she was like- R? Why do you want R? Who are you? And I hung up in panic :P

P.S- Guys, these are things that would make me smile...years later! Apparently maintaining two or three blogs is almost impossible for someone like me. :P If i disable comments it means its a personal thing that will not accept any kind of criticism. It is ok to laugh at some things but i really cant take if someone laughs at things that are not meant for fun! At least i don't want to know if you laughed or smiled or cried or felt bad for me! These are things that create memories.

P.P.S- Of course i am happy after all the LOL's and ROFL's in the earlier post, but just to keep it going...do comment on the post below :)

Cheer us up

2008-10-13T11:48:00.003+05:30

Rahul is sad and so am I. For completely different reasons though ;).

So you got the message :P. Cheer us up and we promise to give back the smiles further with gratitude ;)

There’s something on the cards for all those who can make us smile, laugh and go ROFL :D :D

No restrictions… do anything you want as long as it doesn’t hurt any of us here ;)

P.S- My system has fallen sick… gets shutdown by itself every few minutes. And the processor refuses to start again :(. I guess it is all because of a great IBM officer :P :P (Kidding :P)
Lemme see if someone can get into the technicalities and figure out the problem with my processor :P

Reflections

2008-10-13T00:55:00.010+05:30

Anger is momentary
That thing which will remain forever
Is what we call LOVE

-------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish i could give unconditional love
That people talk about
And be called a good person
before i leave this earth

'A Good person' thats exactly what i wanna be.
But without a purpose it is all outlying
Things dont happen out of the blue
We need to focus to make them true

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I suck at programming, I suck at computers. Am clueless about my aim in life, but i know for sure this is not what i want to be!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's annoying to stay home 24 hours a day and do just nothing :(. Even more annoying it is when you know you have a million things to do but still take indefinite pleasure in lazing around :O

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion: I SO HATE MYSELF AT THIS MOMENT :(

P.S - Comments on the post below are welcome :)

Inner beauty

2008-10-12T19:53:00.003+05:30

Within those unsightly eyes

That flinched many a soul

Are oodles of innocence

They failed to behold

Behind those filthy clothes

People cringed to touch

Is a tender heart

Far off their reach

Beneath the shaggy hair

That beckoned disgust and crude

Is a powerful mind

Waiting for a tribute

And beyond the ugly face

That infused dread

Is a beautiful soul

'Inner beauty' it read

P.S – Thanks to preeti for the second line of the third stanza :D :D

To be or Not to be

2008-10-11T22:09:00.005+05:30

Her: hello?

Him: Haa sweety, what u doin?

Her: Was chatting before your call.

Him: With?

Her: The same ones that I chatted yesterday with ;)

Him: Those chats make your nights exciting, don’t they?

Her: Naa, just feels good with people around. I hardly chat with guys for you to call my nights happening or exciting!

Him: So you want a guy to chat with?

Her: Naa, I could get one if I want ;). I thought you know who I want to chat with!

Him: I know

*Silence*

Him: Say something?

Her: Hmmm how was your day?

Him: Are you angry?

Her: Why dint u call last night?

Him: Last night? *Thinks* Was late from office!

Her: In all those 24 hours, you say you couldn’t find a minute to call and let me know that you would be late from office or at least leave a message that you can not call?

*Silence*

Her: You know you can’t give this lame excuse all the time->work. Relationships should be balanced. It seems I am the only one putting efforts to keep this relation going while you are not bothered.

Him: Am sorry Jaan.

Her: This isn’t the first time I am saying this. When I have balance I call, but when I don’t… You know I would be worried…

Him: Janu, I know its my fault, please don’t be angry with me. 15 hours in office, I don’t get a minute to think about anything else! May be I’m taking you for granted; coz I know you will always be there!

Tears moistened her eyes and she was left speechless. *

Maybe I’m taking you for granted…coz I know you’ll be there…always*.

To be happy-> for how secure he feels with her or not to be-> for being taken for granted- she does not know.

Musings and celebrations

2008-10-09T21:12:00.007+05:30

If you love somebody let him free. If he comes back to you he is yours…if he doesn't he never was.

This quote comes as a hitch hacker for people in love. If he truly loves you…he would surely come back! But how many of us are ready to let our love free? No, I am not talking of giving them that space they had always needed. It’s about the temporary detachment from your love when insecurity creeps in… to check if he would come back or not. Let alone the aftereffects, maybe they would come back and maybe you are too sure about it… still you can’t take that step of letting them free. Coz we are always afraid of losing people!

I also have a question to ask:

Is it ok if we were a bit possessive, selfish, afraid (of losing ’em) , angry and insecure in love sometimes...in other words...is it ok to have some negative emotions…besides the other obvious things that you feel in love? Or do you think love can be called love only when it is unconditional?

Now for the last part…it is my sweet baby cousin Dhriti’s Third Birthday tomorrow and I’m super excited about the chocolates, cake and the splendid dinner that is to follow.

Here’s a pic with Dhriti and myself together, one of my all time favorites! The tricycle is hers and that explains the look on her face :P

Trilogy

2008-10-05T22:14:00.004+05:30

Potted memories you bring

Some sweet others horrifying

Even so you are held close

For all the lessons you've taught us

A bundle of hopes and dreams

But also unpredictable tragedies

Adding a purpose to our lives

You motivate us beyond rife

But it's the present that makes memories

Letting us live through hopes and dreams

Safe and fearless it makes us feel

The best of tenses and a present indeed

Change

2008-10-01T00:01:00.002+05:30

We are often made victims of CHANGE- Change in people, change in relationships, change in feelings. But what hurts the most is when this change takes its toll on relationships- when people don't seem to be the same anymore; feelings fade off and the relationship seems devoid of the spark that it initially boasted of.

And those feeling ripped off are the ones who don't change, whose feelings remain intact irrespective of time and who struggle to keep the relationship alive despite these changes disturbing the situations from time to time.

The initial days of dealing with change are indeed difficult coz fear of insecurity and feelings of being taken for granted surface. These are the testing days- the times that will send the strongest of the storms to shrivel the trust, to shatter your dreams and all in all to weaken the relationship.

How does one cope with these changes?

With time however things seem to get better if you build up your abilities to understand people and tune yourself to the changing conditions.

It hurts you less if you are capable of molding yourself according to changing people and situations, if you are able to figure out the actual reasons behind these changes. People change not because they want to but because they have to…because the situation or circumstances demands so. And the sooner you realize this, the better.

P.S- Happy birthday Ali ;). My best wishes coming your way, have a great time ;)

P.P.S- I still don't have Internet facility. Thanks to Sami and Lena for being so helpful in posting my posts :P

For A Cause

2008-09-27T02:30:00.003+05:30

First of all, I am sorry for not visiting your blogs for quite sometime now. I haven't even replied to some of the comments on the previous post. Once in a month this happens, I receive a message that says – Dear airtel customer, your bill amount for the last month is still pending, please pay immediately to avoid any disruptions in the services. So I hope you guys will understand ;)
Keep track of the following desultory talks; something productive would be coming up by the end of the post. Hopefully!

When I was a kid, I had dreamt of being a doctor. I remember my schoolteacher questioning the class about what each of us would like to become when we grew up. A Doctor- I said. Eventually I took up math, physics and chemistry as my subjects in intermediate and ended up being an engineer- a software engineer after graduating in Electronics and communications.
>A dream crushed by an engineer<

In my eighth standard, our class was given a task of collecting funds for an old age home. A few among us who had collected a fairly decent amount were allowed to visit the old age home to greet their members. The experience was touching, something I would remember for life. I would say, in these 22 years of my life…that was the only good thing I've done for someone other than family and friends. During that time there was much resentment against those who left their parents to old age homes. Probably that was the first incident, which inspired me to establish an old age home by myself.
>A dream gone astray<

While watching news channels that show thousands of victims my eyes are filled with tears. I wish I could be of some help to them.
>A momentary dream that vanishes as soon as I switch the channel for a reality show<

When I was doing my third year of engineering, grandpa passed away. That was when a serious thought struck my mind- of building a foundation on the name of my grandpa.
>This dream I wish would come true someday<

There's a saying I've always loved: When you were born, you were the one crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life in such a way that… you leave this world with a smile on your face and leave a tear in everyone else's eyes.To live with love, gratitude and respect from others each of us has to make some efforts for the betterment of the society. We may not be too intelligent to serve the country through our knowledge. We may not be so rich as to donate large amounts of money in charity. But with the little money that we are earning, we can still make a difference just by contributing a small/negligible percent of our earnings for doing good for the needy. Though I know it would take much more time for this dream to come true than what I anticipate, if anyone here would be happy to help me create a trust on the name of my grandfather, I would sincerely and wholeheartedly be thankful to him or her.

************

Now for the second part of my post - its Neha's aka Joie's birthday. There are some people with whom you feel an instant connection. That, I've felt with you Neha. Happy birthday!

My Blog's Wedding :P :P

2008-09-17T00:02:00.007+05:30

Contemplating how things have been a year ago and comparing them with how things have changed over time…I can say one of the best things I’ve done during this one year is to start blogging. Thanks to some anonymous profile on orkut which had a profile name saying *Read my blog* that eventually inspired me to write my own. And thus began Divvu’s journey into the Bloggerland. My first blog post –Peace of mind. Today it seems strange enough that I’ve entered into this land even without introducing myself. It does give an idea about the depth of frustration I was going through back then and the need to express my resentment through some means .

To Speak of the immense change that Blogging has brought into my life is a difficult task. Today it’s a different ME altogether. Ok, I know some people here are all geared up to throw surprised faces at me if I said that I’ve grown up :P. So let me put it this way – I’ve STARTED to understand things and people better…if not completely, to an extent I stopped whining about people not being able to reciprocate feelings, I’ve made some really sweet friends here who will hopefully last for my lifetime, and most of all I’ve come to believe that I can write poems :P.

If you guys are wondering the actual intention behind these talks…there are two really special occasions that call for celebrations.

The first being my first blog’s first birthday ;). I’ve never really thought of my other blog as a separate one…just had to switch places coz of some personal problems. But that little world of mine called A RUBIX CUBE will always remain close to my heart for it gave me the best gift I could ever ask for…the ones that I call -my friends.

Now for the second… on this auspicious day THE RUBIX CUBE is getting married to one of its closest and dearest friends THE WHITE WINDOW. To read Rubix Cube’s love letter to White Window…click here later. So people I hope each of you will come over with your near and dear ones and not to forget with lots of gifts for the new and FIRST couple of bloggerville. Thus creating a history. Your presence and blessings are much needed. As for who is the bride and who is the bridegroom…that’s for you to decide/assume ;)

That’s not all…My sweet lenu janu is being my first ever guest blogger…to write something about my blog and myself and how our blogs have marked the first steps of a budding friendship.

Once upon a time I happened to come across one blog. I don’t actually remember how I got there but I know why I didn’t leave it. The girl in the blog was asking questions, which I thought I knew answers for. Not that I still have these answers or think they were right ones but back then I thought I could share some experience and wisdom with that girl.

Time showed she got more wisdom than I at times, just like many of us happens to be confused about life every now and then.

divya said...

@lena

I dont deserve to get blogrolled though :P i dont get to access net very often...but thanQ so much for the privilege :)

Isn’t she cute, huh? As if I asked her if she wants to be blogrolled. I just did. And never regretted that. And I know I never will. Her posts reflect her personality very well. She might seem as a crazy/mad little girl who asks weird questions and has a lot of fun while replying to your comments in the most unexpected way. But even then one can see how really wise she is, what sensitive topics she picks up and how caring this girl is.

She is so much honest with expressing her feelings. When she loves, it shows, when she is sad, you can see it, when she is happy, it is obvious. Each word in her posts is real, and if one cares enough to see behind the words, he will see the real Div, the girl who loves, who cares, who understands but never misses to have some fun.

I went through her first posts today and memories flashed. The first post I ever read there, first comments, words that marked the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Words that went straight to the heart and never left it.

There is not a single day when I don’t check on her blog, sometimes even before I check on my own.

And there is not a single day when I don’t thank myself for landing up on her blog that day. This place brought so many positive emotions in my life every time I needed it. And be it Rubix Cube or Divvu in Bloggerland, that’s the place that deserves to grow old together with us. One year is just not enough!

Happy Birthday! :)

And here's the love letter that White window has written for Rubix cube ;)

“Once upon a time in bloggerland, there lived beautiful blog “White window”. Her peaceful n beautiful life took a U-turn the moment her eyes fell on “Rubix Cube”. For the very first time she got someone who complemented n completed her in every single aspect. :P . Wowwwwwwwwwww the life was never the same again. It was changed and the change was the best thing that can ever happen to her in life. Yes she was in love with “Rubix Cube” and so was he. They solemnized their love and decided to become one on a very special day. And what other day can be a special one other than their birthday!

Every blog in the bloggerland including them were surprised to know that they share the same birthday i.e. 17.09.07. Without wasting a single minute they proposed to each other and in the presence of their guardian blogs: “peace of soul” n “sameera’s haven” and other blogs they tied the knot that very day. There’s been the first ever love-story of bloggerland and this way they became immortals in the pages of bloggerland’s history.

And they lived happily ever after….”

Dear Rubix Cube, after many years from now, this is one of the ways the future generations of bloggerland will remember us. Isn’t it just great that we share the same birthday though we came to know about it just one day before in spite of our owners/ creators/moms being best of friends? Peace of Soul says that it seems we know each other even before we met.

U can’t imagine how happy, excited and honored I am to know that my life partner is none other than “You” who holds the biggest slice of my heart within him.

Yes darling, we definitely will stay together to fight every storm that comes through our way.

“The more you play, the harder I get” will never come in our life. For us it is only “Just Love ME” and the “Escape route to my Soul” is there for you forever and ever..

*I LOVE YOU*

Yours and only yours forever,

White Window

If words were enough to thank Janu and white window for the kind posts they have written for my blog and also for being there with me, loving and caring like real sisters…I would gift them a dictionary of sweet words :P. But I guess that’s not needed, as they already know what they mean to me.

Alive...in my dreams and memories

2008-09-13T20:24:00.003+05:30

There's one thing I had always hated about being by your side during the time you were on the death bead. Somehow the good and happy moments that we had together are being overshadowed by the times you were sick and suffering. Rather than remembering you as the one who taught me alphabets and numbers, who bought me an ice cream of my choice on the first of every month, who was my teacher at home, who always told me about the power of positive thinking, who gave me some valuable lessons on life, who paid my school and college fees, and prominently as the one who is most responsible for the better part of me; I remember you as the one who I went along with for those chemotherapy sessions, the one who had asked me in the middle of the night to apply some oil on the neck that was bleeding after an operation, the one who let me press his legs for the first time ever when he was sick, the one whose body and eyes were turning yellow because of the jaundice attack, the one whose forehead I kissed only after his demise, the only one who had tolerated so much pain without heaving a sigh. This could be the only reason why I avoid thinking about you…pushing myself to think something else that did not give me pain.

But dreams are things that I have no control of. And in my dreams I see my grandfather…. alive but always sick with cancer.

My crazy obsession for voice chat :P

2008-09-10T15:33:00.003+05:30

22nd year of my life and I've never used headphones until the 6th of September 2008. I'm loving it.

Hardest part was of course fixing them to my computer. If you think I am dumb, for now I will agree :). Thanks to harika- my best friend…she taught me the ABCD of fixing headphones to PC.

Instructions for people who still do not know how to use the headphones ;)

1. Look for three colored ports at the back of your processor. For people who do not know what a processor is…am glad you are dumber than I am :P.
2. Now look for the symbol of headphones on one of the two wires that come from your headphones and fix it into the green colored port of your processor (precisely the middle one). And the other into the pink colored port.

It took me a while to decipher the colors coz all the three looked *white* to me. My computer was losing hues L…. Or maybe I am losing sight?

Anyways if you think you are done…sorry you are mistaken!

Call someone and test. If you are as fortunate as I am…you would hear the voice of your friend but your voice wouldn't reach him :P.

Hence check the audio configuration of on your pc and enable the microphone. This wasn't easy, it took me 4-5 hours to figure out the problem with the settings. My pc was giving some weird errors- you cant place the volume icon on the task bar coz the volume control program has not been installed. That left me wondering how I could adjust the media player volume if the volume control wasn't installed.

If you were smart, it wouldn't take so long though.

Let me know if I was helpful :P.

Drifting apart but staying together

2008-09-06T13:30:00.003+05:30

Office hours were such a stress
When he returned home he just slept
Files, papers and timeless meetings
His peace of mind was by far amiss

And here she waited for him to join
The dining table that longed for their union
To talk, laugh and together dream
Was all and everything she ever asked him

He skipped his meals and often got sick
But his struggle for life forever sustained
So much into work that he never bothered
A family of four he barely looked after

Was she being taken for granted?

Or was the love lost in the ashes?Many questions were bothering herLeaving her depressed and insecure

The love was there concealed in his heart
How deeply he cared he failed to show her
Despite the abeyance he was always there
Pity she could not see the hidden gestures

With time she knew he was doing it all
For them alone and their children's future
One good opportunity was all he looked for
A promising career that could end the disaster

:(

2008-09-02T15:01:00.000+05:30

My other blog The rubix cube went private in april.
The reason being my brother who has been constantly prying into everything I do with the Internet :( and myself forgetting to clear the history each time I leave the system.
A strange intuition that my brother might have hit upon my blog url by then, forced me in making it private.

Today I was wondering… how come the idea of changing the URL never occurred to me? :(

Euphemism

2008-08-28T11:57:00.000+05:30

A mild, indirect expression substituted for an offensive or unpleasant one.

That’s a word I came across while I was preparing for my GRE. And since then I’ve fallen in love with the word. The example given under it was even more attractive.

Most of the times we are rather blunt and thoughtless when it comes to expressing what we think or feel. When in anger, we don’t have a control of our emotions and we end up shooting the worst of words at the one on the receiving end.

Words- they can mend relationships and they can even break them. So why can’t we be a little careful with words? Using the right ones at the right time.

Think for a moment if what you are about to say can be hurting to others. Coz words once spoken cannot be taken back.

There is always a better way to let someone know what you feel.

HER

2008-08-19T03:20:00.000+05:30

I hate your absence.

You know what makes me sad; you know what makes me happy, you know when I am secretly crying, you know if my expectations were reasonable enough. And you also know what to do during all these times.

8 to 2, 9 to 3, 10 to 4 and 11 to 5…. Today I want to go back to that classroom…to the same bench that you and I shared. I want to travel in the same bus…that made us wish for a longer destination. I want to walk through the streets…sometimes laughing, sometimes moaning and sometimes bitching!

Today...as I realize... I can’t do without you :(.

Oh so jobless :(

2008-08-16T21:53:00.000+05:30

Looks like I've lost the purpose of my life. There's absolutely nothing I am doing these days. My daily schedule goes this way- getting up at 12 pm, sleeping again from 1 pm for the next 4 hours, evening badinage with family and night chats with friends. I wonder how long this would continue. Every night I take an oath – that tomorrow would be different…may be I should start reading a novel, brush up my technical proficiencies (if any :O), watch some news channels instead of those cat-fight dramas, stop chatting till the wee hours of morning, do something meaningful, thoughtful and purposeful. All in vain :(

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from vodafone, foolish guy he got me out of my dreams :(.

The conversation went this way…

CC: Good afternoon madam, are you a vodafone customer from Hyderabad?

Div: yes?

CC: Madam, we have some special postpaid offers for you…!

Div: ok, I was sleeping before you called…can I get back to my sleep if you don’t mind?

CC: Sorry to disturb you madam, when can I call back?

Div: In the night?

CC: My shift closes at 6PM madam! May I call up at 11AM tomorrow?

Div: Well, no…I would be sleeping even then.

CC: Ok mam… 2 in the afternoon…?

Div: No, I would still be sleeping.

CC: So what’s the time I can catch u awake?

Div: In the night?

CC: Sorry for disturbing you madam…have a nice day!

I just can’t help being a slugabed :(. People say its high time I start taking up the responsibilities but I just lack the will to do anything at all :(. The past 4 years have been a luxury…with friends like diamonds I never had to worry about my things. Know what? Half of my very important things are with my friends…Passport; Pan card, Provisional certificates, letters and what not. The other day I was searching for my 10^th and intermediate mark sheets…after nearly an hour of rummaging around, I found them under my bed :D, yeah you read it right…they were lying under my bed :P. I remember I put them in my cupboard a few months back. Wonder how they have gotten to this place :O.

By the way…sami has some interview questions to ask :O.

>> You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?

>> You have a record disc, its painted half white and half black and its spinning. How many color sensors you need to determine in which direction the record is spinning and they should be placed in which places?

*She forgot that I already have a job :O, answer it right and sami will arrange a job for you in Microsoft*

10 things a girl shouldn't do when in love.

2008-08-12T20:34:00.000+05:30

Disclaimer - NOT ALL ARE MY EXPERIENCES! And i have not undergone any breakup :O

> > Do not call him while he is with his friends. He is busy.

> > Don't ever discuss your addiction for chocolates with him. You never know…all you might be receiving from him on your birthday would be a pack of chocolates.

>> For a healthy relationship talk about your guy friends SOMETIMES. But not to the extent that he simply backs off.

>> Do not disturb him at work. He won't be listening.

>> Add a pinch of humor to your talks. This works only if the guy is sensible enough to understand your sense of humor. Otherwise wait for an annoying upshot.

>> Do not be his mother, he already has one :P :P Be a kid, if you're sure he has none :P

>> Do not ask him questions, he won't answer them anyway :O. If you still insist, take pleasure in being called *A pigheaded female*

>> Do not disturb while he is sleeping. The cell phone is in silent mode, no use dialing a hundred times. All you would get to hear is a *NO ANSWER*

>> Guys are forgetful. Don’t rant and whine about it. Even if you do, he is not getting his memory back.

>> Don’t remind him of his past deeds :D. It really would piss him off.

Div does it all *winks*

Many Happy Returns!

2008-08-09T00:59:00.000+05:30

I had a gala time with my friends this birthday! Despite the initial disappointments (Half my friends were outta station and this disappointed me so much that I actually started crying!)

Some really special dedications and wishes from my blogger friends:

Lena wrote something for me here.

Sami wrote something for me here.

And preeti wrote something for me here.

The first call being Rahul's who called at 11.30 itself coz he was feeling too sleepy to stay awake till 12. :O.

Then got to hear a birthday song from R, he does it on every birthday of mine and I love it!

Just then, someone knocked on the door, I thought it might be my brother coz he always wishes me at 12 if hez at home. Surprisingly two of my friends came over with a basket full of roses. It's the nicest of the surprises I ever got till date!

They took me down to my granny's place which is just a few steps away…made me cut my favorite chocolate cake (the one from universal bakers ;)). Meanwhile got a lot of calls and messages from loved ones. Bro gifted me a Fast track watch with his first salary. It's probably the first time (after many many years!) my brother put some cake into my mouth and then on my face. My mami gifted me an orange saree along with some earrings and then a kiss on my cheeks! Mamu gave me a temptations chocolate (almond flavour :P) coz he knows about my eternal love for it.

A little later my friends showed me what R had sent for my birthday…roses, a celebrations pack of caramel enrobed in chocolate, two really cool suits and a handbag.

In the end box gave a letter-this is the best of all that I've received :). I know she has put in great efforts in making something like this! Box I loved it so much that that night I went into the Loo and read it twice…so it wont disturb the ones who were sleeping :P

I was missing a lot of people that night…him and some very close friends!

In the morning I got two more sarees from my masis…masi actually bought this green one for herself sometime back but just because she knew I loved it, she let me have it…along with a 5star :P (green is my favorite color!)

Had a nice lunch with friends at home…then an ice cream at baskin robbins :P and again biryani for dinner.

All in all a memorable day :)

My second self - friends!

2008-08-05T21:15:00.000+05:30

A sensuous touch has always healed my cuts
Many eyes have helped me through the ruts
A shoulder to the left and a shoulder to the right
Never did I feel the teeming weight

With words that could cart off the pain
They have given me the strength to regain
No, today I can't do without them
Coz for years I've been only a dependent name

Until now life's been a jolly ride
Enjoying the paradise with them by my side
A responsible position in the vicinity of my life
Yes I am worried if I can stand all the strife

Very soon we would be parting ways
Like the colorful rainbow losing its hues
But memories would still remain
Of all of us together in the rain

Memories

2008-08-04T11:59:00.000+05:30

It’s the same rain falling from the heavens…

Dousing me into memories within

It’s the same breeze touching my face…

Like you are here and I am feeling you breathe

It’s the same street I am walking through…

Today I am alone and missing your presence

It’s again the same time of the year…

Sometime ago when we were together!

Happy friendship day

2008-08-02T20:02:00.001+05:30

This friendship day I want to thank all the friends I've made till today…and this post is for my dearest online friends. For all others, I am writing letters :)

Ashish: My first ever online friend whom I miss to the core. A friend, a brother, a guide; we hardly chat today but you will be remembered for life. Half of what I am today is because of you. One of the most decent guys I ever came across. Perhaps the only one whom I asked the phone number for but he never gave! Always talked of some principles…yes I respect them the most but you know ash, you deserve a share of my first salary. I know there are zero chances of you reading this… I love you.

Sunil: You are special. The first online friend I met personally! So you see you hold a title. Despite a thousand fights you will remain special and unforgettable.

Sahil: Baby for me. Your call on my birthday is always surprising sweetheart. I was so much taken aback when the other day your sister's hubby logged into your yahoo id and asked me if I am Divya and if my birthday was nearing and that you were planning to surprise me by your call. It feels so good to know that you talk about me with your family…even after almost 2 years of losing touch. Thanks for everything!

Manish: First things first. Here are the acknowledgements I promised you. Manish is smart, manish is intelligent, manish is a great mentor and a philosopher, manish is cool, manish is knowledgeable, manish is everything good, manish has also got a cool blog here…. But unfortunatley manish can't dance :P Hey but wait, manish has joined some dance classes recently…and in a week or so….I would hopefully be writing on how good a dancer manish is! Is this enough or you want more? :P
Jokes aside, manish is actually none of the above :P. Just a sweet little creature I love ;). You are special too betu, for I had the longest chat of 12 hours with you, so what if ONLY you typed all the time! You know I am still angry with oracle bangalore.
By the way manish can be really rude at times but then only talking to him helps :O

Lena: the first one I always ping…whenever I am online. My day is never complete without a chat with you janu. When you don't login…I miss you, so much that I actually feel like logging off! Yeah I know we don't chat all the time even though we are online for hours, but then your presence does matter a lot. It’s almost an year of our friendship…me waiting to celebrate the anniversary :P Love u janu :-*

Sami: Moti I lub boo :P Chats are with you are so much fun! Actually fights are :P I love that angry look you give when I hurt you :P. Moti, I wanna meet you :( I know I would be pampered like a baby if I were you sister :(, you would give me all those chocolates and ice creams you eat daily :(, you would take me to discos and you would teach me how to dance-with kabir :P lolz.. Sometimes I just wish I were :(.

Pree: Darling pree, I miss u a lot. You know you’ve got a gifted voice. The way you talk, the way u care, its all so mesmerizing! Remember lena went on a trip a month back, I think those were the days that brought us close :P. There are times when I feel lonely in the nights, when I try to sleep but I can’t. I try ringing you and you never answer :x. And sometimes when I wanna talk, my phone says I have insufficient balance! How I love to hear those words from you- my shona chimpu divvu :)

Socrates once said- Get not your friends by bare compliments...but by sensible tokens of love! I hope this was sensible enough.

Friendship bands to all

MS or JOB

2008-07-29T13:04:00.000+05:30

I've been thinking over this for quite some time now and this is what I inferred from all the discussions I've had. I think job would be a better option for me for the following reasons :

1. I've got a job now, why MS?

2. I've learnt that wherever you go, experience counts. And MS isn't going to fetch me any experience. Two years down the line, I would still be a fresher…and nobody's promising me a job as soon as I finish my post graduation. Who knows? May be even then, I would still be on search for a job.

3. For doing MS, I would need a loan of 20 lakhs. Even if I took one and finished my course; I would need at least three more years to repay the loan. So that makes to 5 years of joblessness. But if I were going for the job, by the end of 2 years, my earning would count to 6 lakhs. And may be by God's grace if I have an increment later on, 5 years down the line my total earnings would sum up to 20 lakhs. So that means MS would COST me 20 lakhs for 5 years while Job would EARN me 20 lakhs in 5 years.

4. For 22 years I've been dependent on my parents for my education. Its high time I start doing something for them. Because for a girl, the only period she can repay her family is the time between marriage and the completion of her education. After marriage, I would be having different family. May be it would be difficult for me to help them then. And so I cant remain jobless (literally) for the next 5 years.

5. They say MS means personality development and exposure…won't a job fetch me that to some extent at least?

6. I fear staying away from family for 2 years. It's really a long long time and very difficult for a girl like me to survive. I might get that homesick feeling anytime and run off from there.

7. Even I go for MS, I would sure be coming back to India- to work here, and not in America. And through some knowledgeable friends I've come to know that MS is good if you are prepared to work there in U.S.A.

8. Why should I prefer to work in restaurants of America as a waiter to earn money for my basic living expenses when I can actually lead a decent life here in India with the kind of job I have in my hands today? (Oh no, I am not criticizing the job of a waiter, its only about my capabilities)

9. Perhaps the only reason that's pushing me towards MS is F.R.I.E.N.D.S- coz all of them are going. Probably this is just one last chance God's giving me to be with them for another 2 years. But I've relied on them for almost everything these 4 years and I guess MS would mean- throwing my responsibilities back to my friends, which according to me is really bad! It's time i realize we all aren't going to marry the same guy :P

10. Moreover I am not so greedy for money so as to earn tens of lakhs every year…for me 50000/month even after 5 years would be more than enough to lead a normal life.

But MS would also mean – another degree. I would be called a postgraduate. And it's another chance to get back to my original field of study- Electronics. And the increments in Electronics would be much higher than the increments in IT field.

So, tell me guys! Which is a better option according to you? The final choice is definitely mine but a little guidance from you might be of help.

Birthday bumps

2008-07-27T12:09:00.000+05:30

How many of us enjoy waiting? I don't. But isn't it exciting to wait for birthdays? The excitement begins a week before and stays on till the midnight of the actual day. Chocolates, Gifts, Surprises, the immense love you get to feel, the way you are pampered all day long, friends staying awake till late hours…competing to be the first one to wish you on your day, orkut scrapbook filled with birthday wishes, flowers, greeting cards, messages and letters from loved ones, wearing almost everything new, blowing the candles, bursting the balloons and cutting the cake. Everything is special about birthdays except the fact that you are getting a year older! But considering that you don't get to do/feel all this on a normal day, birthdays are never a disappointment.

Birthday night-outs with friends are so much fun. If you are a guy, it's much more than fun. You are allowed to freak out at odd times of the night, at peculiar places with least concern. *Why should guys have all the fun?*

Putting forth your demands and taking delight in every moment of the day- a birthday is surely the best day of the year ;). So what's the gift you would love to have the most? This time I am not saying CHOCOLATES. ;).

I love it when people write something for me. That's certainly the best gift you can give to anybody. I enjoy reading them again and again, at times when I am sad and at times when I am feeling lonely…one message filled with love is all that's needed to cheer me up. Make me something out of your own hands, put your love into words and you would sure make my day. Oh yes, I love surprises too. Pay me a visit without me having any idea about it; wouldn't that be the nicest of surprises?

But there are people who are too lazy to write or make something. If you're happy when someone makes you feel special, why not do the same to make him feel the same? How much time it takes to write a few words of love…that last for a lifetime, that are etched in someone's hearts forever?

Finally, all good things come to an end, so does the birthday. Why can't we celebrate it every month :(? Aren't we left agog?

I would be turning 22 this august- a year full of responsibilities. Tough for me because all these years I’ve merely been a kid- always depending on a plenty of people for my living.

The day i've been waiting for...never seems to arrive!

2008-07-22T21:27:00.000+05:30

D : when you coming??

R : Div, please yaar. Why don't you understand?

And so the conversation ends there. You don't wanna talk about it while I am not supposed to talk about it. It's been 2 years since we met. And I still don't have enough rights to tell you that I want you here on my birthday. I understand you feel guilty but…I can't stop myself from asking, no matter how hard I try.

When I see a couple walking on the roads…I wish you were here.

When my friends talk about their guys…I wish you were here.

When I am happy about something…I wish you were here.

When I want to cry…I wish you were here.

When I want to go out for shopping…I wish you were here.

When I want to have an ice cream in the midnight…I wish you were here. (I know you would get it for me if you were here)

When I think of the past days…I wish you were here.

When I think of future too…I wish you were here.

If only you knew how desperately I had waited for you to be here last month and how it feels when expectations and dreams fail this badly. Or may you know it coz in numerous ways I try to hint you how I am feeling…you still can’t help.

The worst part is that I can't talk about it…with you. If I initiate, you somehow cut back. I feel so numb and twitchy. Tell me how am I supposed to react, all plain and happy when am actually bursting out from inside?

I still have a hope that will be alive till the first of next month. And if IT fails again…don't tag me a BAD girl.

My F.R.I.E.N.D.S are priceless!

2008-07-19T01:34:00.000+05:30

Life was fun. With friends, life was so much fun. All that she knew was a world that had only her friends and family. She tried her best to stand to their expectations. Nobody could love them like she did. She missed no chance to shower them with cute little surprises and gifts to make them happy. And with her around, people always were.

Despite all wonderful people by her side, there was a tenebrous side to her life. A feeling of being detested; of emptiness, fear and obscurity.

Just then he comes in and fills the void with dapples of sunshine. So many friends she has, but this person seems a little different and more special. In all best ways he tries to woo her- compliments, flowers, chocolates and everything she liked. He makes her feel like she is the queen of his world. Unlike her friends who had responsibilities towards every other friend, his love was all hers. More love, more time and more importance and so she falls for him.

Her friends could see that incipient ignorance. She behaved like they never existed for her, like she doesn't need them now, like their presence in her life was fated to end there. Pity she never realized how much her absence in their lives bothered them ever since he has entered into her life. They had always thought she was the perfect kind of friend to have. But the one who cared the most now had no time for friends or family. The one, who could never hide the slightest of things, now hardly shares any of her feelings. Today she is someone else's property.

Few years of relationship and love begins to fade. May be it is still there but she doesn't get to see it so often. Fights and arguments over trivial matters. Words failing to convince. Crying doesn't help either. All she needs now is a friend by her side…to support her, to console her and to be with her all the time like how it used to be years before. She starts feeling guilty and sorry for all the times she had hurt them and promises herself to bring that spark in their friendship back if only her friends forgave her.

While her friends have never been selfish neither will they ever be. They were always there and will always be- in happiness and in solitude. Life begins to seem brighter. She doesn't neglect either of the relationships, spends equal time with both, and takes pleasure in exiguity.

It happens with all of us right? Sometimes one relation takes a higher stand than the others. Every relation we make has its own importance. We can’t neglect one for the other and if we did, sooner or later we realize and regret.

I remember I have been that way during the initial years of my relationship with him. Not completely the way I wrote it here but then I remember a particular incident- when I had a small misunderstanding with my friend and I gave a message which said something like -> ok, I don’t need anyone…I have him, he cares the most. And then I got this reply -> Div, you sure have him, but I need you…think about this. You don’t know how much difference you made in my life. You taught me a lot.

That was it. In fact I gave that kind of message to her to get this kind of reply. LOL was trying to make her jealous or something. I believe I have never really ignored my friends till date-no matter what or who came in between. And if I ever did, please forgive me.

You all know how important you are for me right? My birthdays without you would be as bad as birthdays without him…the only difference -> you are here, he is far.

Love you all so much.

Just a thought ;)

2008-07-18T01:27:00.000+05:30

I wish every man in this world became mature enough to understand that having a hundred girlfriends is not something to be proud of, but being with the same girl for a hundred years definitely is!

Sister love

2008-07-03T21:38:00.000+05:30

Dark hours of loneliness

Jagged shafts of emptiness

A little heart but a bagful of fears

Time and again those contrite tears

A teddy’s hug doesn’t seem to help either

After all it’s a toy and doesn’t bother

Wish the walls could talk or listen

And bring her spirits back to position

A cogent assurance that things will settle

And tremendous support in every battle

If this is all she had always pined for

An elder sister seems to be the only answer

This is for all the sisters I made here. Arpi di, Lena, Preeti, Pri, Sami, Sneha di. (In alphabetical order :P).

There are times I wish you were here.

My love for you makes it clear.

Now, all you girls…post a comment saying that Div is the best poetess of bloggerville :P :P

Responsibilities

2008-07-01T21:25:00.000+05:30

What are the responsibilities of today’s youth? Ok, I know most of us are struggling to cope with our careers. But in that interest, are we not forgetting our families? What are the other things you have to take care of, apart from studying, working and earning?

Every time I visit the hospital, there is something that grabs my attention. Today I saw an old couple helping themselves to the doctor. There was a big queue while the couple had to wait for their turn. I was wondering why there was nobody to accompany them to the hospital. Where were their children? Their grandchildren? Are people so busy with their lives to even spend some of their time with family? Just a few minutes in a day to let them know that you care, to make their world special of course by your very presence in it and to keep the faith that they are not alone.

For my granny, I was there. I made her sit on a chair nearby and I stood in the line instead.

I can’t forget the day my grandpa was on the bed suffering from cancer, I was beside him, crying all night, praying for him, wanting to hug him tight…but something held me back…may be I was afraid that my hug would wake him up.

When i was in my eighth standard, we were taken to an old age home. I still cant believe people can think of their own parents as burden and leave them to old age homes.

How many of you live with your grandparents? If you don’t, when was the last time you visited them? The last time you asked your granny about her health? The last time you stopped her from having something sweet coz she has diabetes? The last time you hugged her tight and slept off on her laps?

If you cant recollect the last time you did any of these, do it before it’s too late. Coz today, even though I wanna do all of those with my grandpa, I don’t find him here anymore!!

All that you wanna know about me

2008-06-27T00:54:00.000+05:30

Tagged by sameera

I am: Div, Divvi , Divvu

I think: I don’t :D

I know: Expectations fail.

I want: to be loved and caressed all the time.

I have: Big brains…some people say. (Believe at your own risk)

I wish: to talk to my grandfather.

I hate: being misinterpreted.

I miss: My grandfather a lot.

I fear: Losing my loved ones. (I guess this holds for everyone?)

I feel: that I love people too much.

I hear: with my ears.

I smell: with my nose.

I crave: for love and chocolates.

I search: for my future.

I wonder: why God has to kill people.

I regret: only for a while.

I love: my relations.

I ache: when something bad happens.

I am not: selfish.

I believe: unconditional love is beyond human character.

I dance: when nobody’s watching.

I sing: songs that have good lyrics.

I cry: even in my dreams.I don’t always: behave well with people.

I fight: with my dear ones.

I write: nonsense.

I win: hearts :P

I lose: my temper very often.

I never: give up on my relations and I never share my chocolates.

I always: fail in understanding people.

I confuse: I don’t do that. I put my thoughts and feelings straight.

I listen: to everything you have to say. (But only sometimes :P)

I can usually be found: Sleeping *grins*

I am scared: of rats.

I need: someone’s call before I go to sleep.

I am happy about: today.

I imagine: a life with him.

Free Advice

2008-06-16T23:48:00.001+05:30

Some people are always ready to give their free ever effusive advice and often take great pride in doing so. But never realize how dumb, silly and funny they sound to me. These are the ones who think of themselves as God of all things!! And others ought to follow and appreciate their thinking. If they don’t, they are screwed big time.

You don’t know if they are trying to make you feel better or they are too dumb to realize that they are actually making a fool out of themselves. Every now and then they come up with new philosophies, which are of course against the established ones…and then they keep on arguing until the other person is tired and convinced with his theories.

At times they pop up from nowhere to give you the worst of suggestions that are supposed to solve your problems, the ones that make no sense at all. Just reading them intensifies the already existing ones.

But sometimes they even make u laugh so much that your stomach starts hurting-that is when you paste those silly conversations to your friends and share the fun :P :P

A wise poet in me :)

2008-06-08T02:11:00.001+05:30

Sami has asked me to do some SERIOUS and PROPER blogging. She has warned me against any amusing posts and I am SERIOUSLY AND PROPERLY trying to write a PROPER post coz my blog title demands something really serious. I will change it very soon :P

My blog is in short of readers :P and the best way to multiply the count is a post titled CRUSH CONFESSIONS :P (No offense intended!!)

Sami suggested me to write some poem on love. For the past one hour I have been thinking on a theme for the poem.

Forever love.

True love.

Fake love.

Selfless love.

Selfish love

Broken love.

These are the different kinds of love.

Yes that’s my poem for today :P :P

*Mind blocked*. Learning java is better than writing poems :P

*Apologies* :P Next post will be real serious one sami :P I promise :)

A comeback

2008-06-07T15:04:00.000+05:30

Unfortunately my previous blog is now private. It’s been such a long time I read/wrote any posts-partly because of laziness and partly because I had not enough reasons to blog :P.

After nearly three months, here is a come back :) . The return of LukkyDiv :P

Learning to live....

Have u seen my childhood

Life after a year

Thanks vinay

To div, from lena

Blessed and then cursed: A REPOST

Dosti

A farewell

People

The PIF gift

Sid's dedication

Div's words of wisdom :)

The plight of a child

From Stolen Moments...

Remembering him...

Div's Blessings :P

That thing called....

Kya hua tera wada?

Guys are Guys :|

Junglee jaanwar :O

All's well that ends well :)

Exam fever :|

Just another sleepless night

This will put you off to sleep :P

The Dumbi Gang Party!

Music to my ears

Sharing the fleeting joy...

My First Poem : A quirk of fate

Divvi DIvvi Divvi Tam

! ? :O :(

A lonely star

Tags

Missing you...

Live it :) ... Don't kill it :(

Forever love

Of Friends...Parties...and Gifts

Silent Conversations

Java Queen

Life's like that...

I donno what

Friendship Faked

I wish someday you realize...

Towards 56 -Happy birthday Sami

All smiles

Indifference

:O

I am Binjaawwl

One lazy dumbi :P

Just another sleepless night

A question

A Nonnet and two 55-fictions ;)

LIFE

^%$(&(*&(*&%$

Returns

Indirect offence - not meant :P :P

Cheer us up

Reflections

Inner beauty

To be or Not to be

Musings and celebrations

Trilogy

Change

For A Cause

My Blog's Wedding :P :P

Alive...in my dreams and memories

My crazy obsession for voice chat :P

Drifting apart but staying together

:(

Euphemism

HER

Oh so jobless :(

10 things a girl shouldn't do when in love.

Many Happy Returns!

My second self - friends!

Memories

Happy friendship day

MS or JOB

Birthday bumps

The day i've been waiting for...never seems to arrive!

My F.R.I.E.N.D.S are priceless!

^%$(&(&(&%$